Schizophrenia – Psychosis or Something More Profound?

schizophrenia

By Cortland Pfeffer

Guest Writer for Wake Up World

People with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are among the most discriminated against people in the history of the world.

A “psycho” is a derogatory term for someone who is psychotic. Someone who is psychotic is a person suffering from psychosis. Psychosis is characterized by a disconnection from reality. That is it, and all there is to it!

A “psycho” is someone who is experiencing a disconnection from reality!

At first the term was “mad,” then we called them “crazy,” then “insane,” which became “lunacy” or “lunatics,” and then of course “psychosis” or “psychotic.” Just as humans have always done, when we do not understand something, we label it as different and persecute those people. But, this is the one group of people that are still left in the darkness. We still do not understand it. Even though we label it as a “medical disease”, schizophrenics still end up locked behind bars, and it is the last group of people in society in which it is still socially acceptable to discriminate against.


In the very ancient times, the shamanistic cultures viewed schizophrenics as having a connection to the spirit world. They would train them as to how to use this power, this gift, to connect with their higher self and earn them the title of “healer.”

Eventually as civilizations started to form, governments were created, along with rules, laws, and norms were passed down to keep peace and order. This was meant to conform others to those in power. Schizophrenia then became viewed as different, bizarre, chaotic, and mad. People with this “disorder” were then persecuted, drowned, buried alive, burnt at the stake, locked in institutions, had parts of their brain cut out, and/or were kept highly medicated to control these abnormalities.

So what is schizophrenia?

Medically speaking, it is a diagnosis that is characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality and the sense of the self. These “abnormalities” are described as hallucinations and delusions.

Hallucinations consist of hearing things that do not appear to be there, and seeing things that do not appear to be present. Delusions are beliefs that appear “strange” and that only the person diagnosed believes to be real or true, and refuse to think otherwise – hence, refusal to conform.

On a side note, the next version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is planning to include “non-conformity” as a mental disorder. They have gone from trying to be secretive about these things, to just being quite upfront. If you do not act as we want you to do, then you are sick. And if you are sick, you need to take this drug. But this drug is expensive, so you need this insurance coverage.

However, these descriptions are clinical terms used to help give a diagnosis, which allows for treatment in a society and culture that has agreed upon the best way to treat of any so-called “mental illness” is with a drug. In the past it was hospitalization in which they never treated the person, but rather abused them and labeled them as insane.

What would happen if we were to actually look deeper into what these “symptoms” include in non-clinical terms — considering instead how the client them-self experiences them?

The hallucinations are nothing more than an over-sharpening of the senses and experiencing unusual sensations. It can feel like an out-of-body experience and having difficulty deciphering the difference from reality and illusion. Everything tends to flow together as one – the wall never ends – but instead flows together with the flooring. Auditory hallucinations or the “hearing of voices” which is so often mocked and ridiculed, is a part of being in-tune with higher frequencies.

It is scientifically proven that we do not see objects as they are, but rather a transformation and interpretation made by our eyes and mind. The brain filters out what it deems to be unnecessary information. This isn’t new age, make-belief information, this is physics. Some physicists have estimated that the percentage of light we see on the spectrum is between 1.5 percent and 2.3 percent! That means that there is up to 98-percent of things that we are incapable of seeing.

We communicate daily via invisible radio waves through internet, cell phones, television, and radio. Radio refers to sending energy with waves. Energy is transmitted across the globe without any direct connection. The end result is an announcer speaks into a microphone and the signal travels at the speed of light via radio waves, is received by another signal, and if we tune our radio dial to the right frequency we can hear their voice without any direct connection.

Are schizophrenics seeing and hearing what we cannot?

So keeping in mind what physicists have told us about our reality, is it possible that if someone has heightened senses, they could be seeing parts of the 98-percent of the world we do not see? Or, like many animals, hearing things at a different frequency that we are not tuned in to? I would say it is almost certain!

Psychosis – such as schizophrenia and mania – is all to do with cracking the ego. The experience is so intense that words can not describe. The ego, also known as the “false self”, is everything that we thought we knew to be true about ourselves. The reality we have come to know is breaking right before our eyes. The ego, or mask, is kept in place to protect us from danger – but it also is incredibly limiting.

During this experience, you break out of this mask you have been wearing your entire life. You feel an intense amount of energy that takes you to the depths of your soul. Your soul is set free for the first time since you were an infant, which is the reason for such rapid changes. As a part of this, all your senses are incredibly heightened and you start to question everything around you. You ask things such as “Is this real?” “Am I going crazy?” “Did I Die?”

If we are able to resist nothing and allow this experience to continue, we will feel other symptoms such as feeling connection and a sense of oneness with the universe. You begin to feel that you are everyone and everything, and they are all you. An intense level of understanding takes over and everything makes sense, you finally seem to just “get it.” All the answers to life are in the grasp of your finger tips. Along with the heightened senses of vision and hearing, you also are in tune with those around you almost to the point of feeling their senses, emotions, and thoughts. The sense of time disappears, all that exists is the present moment. All worries seem to disappear as an intense sense of love for everything appears and everything becomes incredibly sacred. Along with this connection, you may also begin to feel that everything is a test from your creator, and you no longer see people in their worldly form, but rather you see their souls and see the message they are bringing to you.

You are changed!

As this state of consciousness comes down, it changes everything. Your priorities and values change quite dramatically. It is as though you have been given the answers to all of life’s mysteries, and to return to the worldly form can be depressing.

I would like you to now go back and read the last three paragraphs and take them out of context. Just read what this experience of psychosis feels like to the person. Now, instead of saying psychosis refers to cracking of the ego, exchange the word “psychosis” for “enlightenment.” Enlightenment refers to ‘cracking of the ego’, right? Now if you re-read those same three paragraphs describing the sensory experience. What is being described is the exact same thing.

The difference is with enlightenment – people try many ways to achieve this experience through deep meditations, vision quests, soul dances, and psychedelic drugs, etc. Yet those who are labeled as mentally ill, who’ve been discriminated against more than any other group of people, tend to have this same experience happen to them naturally! In fact, if you were to experience bipolar mania and try and explain it to someone, the most common response is “I think you need help.”

And “help,” in our society means to medicate the person so they no longer have these mystical experiences. Now, I do acknowledge that sometimes these hallucinations and delusions can be quite harmful in the sense they are asking people to act violently and they are seeing demons. This is likely due to the either trauma or repressed feelings. It is still a good sign that the person is breaking away from their ego, but they need to be guided by someone with experience so they can get closer to the enlightenment side of the spectrum.

The story of the ‘lunatic’ on the grass: A schizophrenic golfer unwittingly removes stigma of mental health

As a mental health worker, every week we would have our team meetings in which we would go over the treatment plans of the 16 patients in our “Intense psych rehab.”

Schizophrenia – Psychosis or Something More Profound

I had been off for a while, I had needed time out. I was now back and this was the first treatment meeting I had been to since my return. My mind was empty and blank. I didn’t know anything to be true for sure, I had given up on almost everything, which, as it turned out, was a good thing.

We would have the mental health practitioner present the patients, their goals and their progress.

We talked about this new patient, a schizophrenic, and we discuss his goals. It is said that this is a ‘career schizophrenic’ that goes to hospitals over and over. His goal is to marry Paris Hilton and play golf on the European golf tour.

Well everyone cracks up, the laughing is intense, everyone teases, ridicules, and assassinates his character.

20 mostly privileged white ‘kids’ in their 20s sitting in this board room with their first psych job, determining the fates of these patients.

I am a little intrigued with this new case because I love golf. I am terrible at golf, however to be outside in nature with the sun for 4 hours I love.

The lessons golf taught me was like exercise for my mind. Every shot matters in the same way that every moment matters. If I hit the ball near a tree, then become angry and impulsive, and try to smack it out of the woods, it will likely hit a tree, and I’ll be in worse shape. However, if I let my ego down, and chip it out, then I will be better off.

It all adds up, little things matter, have patience, and the only shot that matters is the one in front of you. Swing soft and the ball will go further, nothing is as it seems. Do the opposite of what the ego tells you to do. You can’t beat nature, go with nature. Use your talents, don’t try to be like other players. Stay within yourself, and be humble.

This is why I loved golf. It was some sort of meditation for me. Those things I learned in golf, could be said of life as well.

I walk upstairs and I see these ratty old shoes hanging over one of the couches. I look over and there’s guy, the ‘Paris Hilton golfer guy’ we’d talked about. He wears the same clothes every day, it is likely all he owns. He says he’s not sick but he has to take medications. He gets angry if anyone tries to talk to him, about his “illness.”

I just walk him daily for about 2 months, the whole time thinking he’s a typical schizophrenic, so let’s write our notes, get him out of here and go home. Lets get our checks and continue living the lie. I was so embarrassed to be there, a part of this industry, I just didn’t want to talk to him….and I felt like a fraud.

It was nice outside early that spring so I brought my clubs in one day as I was going to go play golf after work. They were brand new fancy clubs. I tried to act like I was ‘the man’, because truly I hated myself at the time and didn’t know why.

Now I know, because that was one of my false selves. A mask I was wearing, it wasn’t who I really am. When you run from your true self, you suffer.

So at times I talked to him about golf to measure his awareness. He knew a lot so I was surprised. Just person to person talks. He had started coming down to talk to me more because it was more of a friendship than me in my role there – just asking him about his “coping skills” and his “goals,” and the other bull they teach you to say in school, and at these expensive trainings.

He didn’t feel threatened by me or assume I was prodding him in order to write things down on his chart. When patients act nervous or suspicious, we are taught to think: “See, they are paranoid.”

However, is that really paranoid? We read their charts and decide who they are without ever getting to know them! I think their lack of trust and not wanting us to write things down is a perfectly normal response based on the circumstances they are usually in. If they say the wrong thing to the wrong person, then its another forced treatment and commitment.

I swung my clubs inside that day. He saw me, and said “Whoah, you got a good swing, not bad.” He saw my clubs and asked “hey can I take a swing?”

Now what I was doing here was something that would be considered inappropriate as I was displaying poor boundaries with a client. Most of the people running these places would say that I should be discussing his treatment and goals and his plan only. Teaching him the “coping skills” that the book says.

However, no one will talk to you about anything real if you don’t build a relationship with them first. We seem to miss that in mental health.

I think it’s funny that we ask these people to tell us everything about themselves in particular the worst moments in their lives. Yet we give them nothing. We force releases of information to be signed by court order, and we use the information against them. Then we call the patients non-complaint if they refuse.

I wasn’t purposely manipulating a relationship either, I was genuinely talking to him like an equal, without regards to the societal roles we were playing. So I told him, “yeah, take a swing, let’s see.”

This was the beginning of one of the most deeply profound experiences of my life – one in which my false selves would all die. But there was more to come this profound moment didn’t take place in a church, in a school, or as part of a momentous occasion. No, I was about to learn about life from a lifelong schizophrenic at a golf course!

Not quite as I had dreamt this moment of enlightenment would be!

He swung the club and it was one of the nicest swings I had seen in person. I was shocked. Of course that didn’t mean he was a European pro. However, I did start to doubt my own pre-conceived notions as an “expert.” Could I, the all mighty one be wrong in my beliefs? It brought me back to a time when I was working at the county hospital. One of the doctors training me said, “You don’t treat the diagnosis, you treat the patient, everyone is different.”

I had an idea, and I went to get support from the program director to take my new golfing friend (and anyone else who wanted to come) to the driving range. I chose the ‘the university’ where I got my golf lessons, it was close and I was familiar with this place.

I got the O.K, and we drove the van to the driving range. We arrive and there is a bunch of young kids — teens with fancy clubs and clothes, looking us over as we walk onto the course — a group of mentally ill patients.

They had that look like “Umm I think you guys are lost” or the “Not in our neighborhood” looks.

Here is a schizophrenic guy with 20 year old shoes, long hair, and 10 year old jeans. We had no clubs other than mine. All the course can offer my friend is a 9 iron for kids, which typically a professional golfer can use to hit a ball about 150 yards. I’m sure they had more appropriate clubs on offer, but it seemed they didn’t want the lunatic ruining their clubs. In fact, they didn’t want the lunatic on the grass!

He says “O.K.”, he wasn’t arguing. This man is 6’5. In addition to being an ‘ill-fit’ for a man of this height, this club looked as thought it had been well used by kids for about 20 years or more, but my lunatic friend is just happy to be there…as is everyone else.

Then came that moment, the one that changes everything!

He puts the ball down. All these young teens, with their 3000 dollar clubs and their fancy clothes are all chuckling and watching, I am watching, the other patients are watching. The tension is building.

He says “Wow, I haven’t swung a club in a long time.”

I was so nervous at this point – I could see all eyes were watching, and I was wondered, was this a delusion? By bringing him here, am I hurting this guy and embarrassing him? I felt my body get tighter, my teeth were clenched, my heart racing, I was really feeling it.

I look at his face, I watch his eyes, they aren’t schizophrenic eyes. His tongue was tightly wrapped on the outside left side of his mouth. He has this grimace on his face – the look of extreme like focus. I glanced at his feet, they are not schizophrenic feet anymore, they are solid, on the ground, in perfect stance. His arms are not schizophrenic arms, the hand grip is right, but the club does not fit him.

I sense the energy building as everyone was watching this “freak.” The thing is, he couldn’t sense it – he already knew what we were about to find out. He wasn’t hitting the ball for just himself, he was hitting it for me, to give me hope. He was hitting it for the other patients. He was hitting it for the watching teens — the bunch of 18 to 22 year-olds who already have their mind made up, and they wait because they want to laugh. He was hitting it for them!

And then it happened – he hit the ball, it goes well over 175 yards, with a childs 9 iron! The ball flew so high in the air, in a manner a pro-golfer would hit it. It towered over the earth, and the ball was so beautiful in flight, it was like a magical TV moment. I could not believe it, and as for the others, well you could have heard a pin drop! Complete and total silence – everyone was still. The world had stopped, and mine had changed forever.

It was all perfect!

Had the first shot been a miss, no one would have watched any longer. The first shot was the key! But it wasn’t a ball you could say was just struck well by an amateur. It all had the look of a really talented golfer. He hadn’t swung a club in years, he had a girls junior club, he carried no fancy equipment, nor did he wear fancy shoes or a glove. He was in jeans, a sweatshirt, and those old raggedy shoes.

He didn’t do it right just once though, he did it over and over again! Eventually people were not whispering anymore, and after a time they went back to hitting their balls.

Then more magic happened!

At a driving range like this, you see many golfers hitting many balls. They are all in flight and all hit well. But on this day there was always one ball that towered over the rest and made the others look like little kids. I started watching the teens – they had started swinging and missing, and hitting terrible shots. Our schizophrenic’s style may have been affecting their game, after all in their minds, schizophrenics who look like this guy are not supposed to do what he is doing.

I could barely move. I had been shown the truth yet again. I hit some O.K shots myself that day, but it didn’t really matter anymore. Things had changed for me.

My new golfing friend walked over and started giving me tips on my golf swing, and all those tips worked well. I couldn’t believe this. Then I look behind me and see there is 20 teens watching him hit the ball – watching him teach me! It was all surreal and utterly impressive. Of course watching from the side were our other patients, tripping and laughing, running around. The world had been moved – for all of us!

Then came another moment – a moment that still tears me up as I write this account here now. One teen with extreme courage and bravery came up and asked my friend for advice on his swing. What courage to do this in front of his shaken peers. Instead of teasing, he came and asked for help. Earlier they had mocked and judged, but my guy didn’t care about that. He said “sure”, as it was obvious he loved helping. Before we knew it we had the schizophrenic giving golf tips to these college golfers. I would never be the same, and I knew it in that moment.

I remember getting back to the facility and sitting down. My co-workers said “You must really like golf, I’ve never seen you so alive and energized.” I could not describe what I had just seen and my account here is still not doing it justice. All I could say was “yeah I like golf.”

We went to golf again maybe 3 times he and I, and we had long talks in the car. He started telling me about his life growing up, how he got involved in the system. I started teaching him about schizophrenia.

Eventually, he said to me, “Well I’ve been going to these hospitals and group homes for over 20 years, and no one has ever explained it to me like that. I think I do have that disease, actually maybe they are right.”

I think others had explained it to him, but he hadn’t listened, because no one had ever listened to him. He was open and without fear with me. Ironically, I only talked to him by chance really, and prior to that I had ignored him for 2 months.

Everyone played a role in my ‘inner change’ at that time – from the negative mental health practitioner who tried to make a joke of his treatment plan, to the great program director. I started to listen carefully to what my golfing friend said when he went on a rant, instead of just falling back on preconceived notions as I would have done in the past. He talk about the college he went to, so I decided to look it up online, and there it was, a picture of him, clean cut, well dressed and very well groomed. He had a 4.0 and was captain of a division-1 golf team. I decided wanted to be his caddy and get him into tournaments. Did he have the talent to be a pro-golfer? I don’t know, but he was good enough to make himself some money for sure. Unfortunately, it never happened.

But my life changed forever with that first swing that stopped the world, and it happened at a time when I had given up on the ‘mental health industry’ coming to believe it was all a fraud. My life change made me realize the mental health industry wasn’t always a terrible business. Yes there are terrible things that happen, and terrible abuses do occur, but that was not good enough reason reason to give it all up completely – I had been shown good reason to stay. I would work on the inside and do my best to create change. It is only a fraud if we allow it to be.

There is a moral to this story…

We have the power over every present moment we are in. Present moments will always build on the past moments, much like golf. We can always find evil if we look for it. However as Socrates said “Our energy is better spent on focusing on positive future than on the negative past.” And it was Francis of Assisi who saidThe best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better“.

The point of this article is to acknowledge that everyone is human, we are all connected, and we all have things to offer. If we put our being into treating others as equals deserving of love and respect (without the ‘superiors and inferiors’ nonsense), then things start to change for the better. When you drop the facades and preconceptions, the ego allows you to see truth and that’s when magic happens. When we take that leap, (or are forced into it like those with schizophrenia), what happens is a type of freedom and beauty enters your life, that I can’t explain with mere words.

But I can say this: Labels can destroy lives!

My greatest teacher was a “schizophrenic” – a man who had been committed to an institution for over 10 years, by a court who deemed him “crazy”. Like others I worked along side of, I had almost closed myself off to him because I believed the label he’d been given – that of sick and delusional man – could NOT be a teacher, let alone my teacher. Yet there he was waiting for me – my greatest ever teacher – and all I had to do was ‘lose the mask’ and forget the labels to see him for who he really was. Is this not what seeking enlightenment is all about?

About the author:

Cortland Pfeffer founded his website Taking The Mask Off in 2014 with the intention of shining a light on the mental health industry and sharing real life stories that have been gathered over 20 years. Cortland (a pen-name) is a psychiatric Registered Nurse and has worked in the field over 18 years. Before that and during this time, he was also a patient in psychiatric hospitals, jails, and treatment centers himself. He has recently made several public speaking appearances, and can be booked through his website. You can read more at Taking The Mask Off, or follow Cortland’s YouTube channel and Facebook page.

 


Wake Up World's latest videos

 

Join Wake Up World's Ever Evolving Social Communities

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Google Plus

 

  • george

    This may be the best article on schizophrenia or bipolar that has ever been written. I am at a loss for words. I am in tears, simply amazing

    • mogui

      You, my friend, need to read more. This attitude is woefully misguided and actively harmful to people with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I will happily offer specific examples if you need them.

  • Morri

    Whoever wrote this article has no understanding on mental problems. Yes, I do strongly agree that doctors are not trying to help people, rather disarm them and fill their own pockets. BUT, psychosis is far from what was described here.
    And it is also ignorant and offensive. I’m not even going to go into details, not worth my time.

    • nico

      then why comment in the first place? Plus I really don’t see how this could be the least bit offensive.

      • gerben dijkstra

        i dont know why some of you disrespect

        this article… i think the people who feel offended

        while reading this… are the ones that label them selves as beeing scitzophrenic… basing their oppinion only on their own subjective experience.. assuming all scitzophrenics are like them.. i would say if you could think outside of your box.. and change your perspective.. you would be happy to learn that its not all bad to be “scitzophrenic”

        as what i rather call to be gifted..

        i also have a creepy shadow type of entity.. living beside me.. i think its been with me
        al my life.. cause i always felt its awareness..

        and i first seen m.. at the age of eleven.. next day i came to skool i was completely hyped up.. about it.. lookin up in every great mystery book i could find.. trying to find n explenation for what i saw in the bushes.. only thing i could think of was: i saw n alien.. and from then on i always looked at things.. with in the back of my mind.. what would n alien think of this? that experience completely changed my life..
        made me think and behave like n outsider..
        giving me a objective view on things.. that later on resulted in the fact that i couldnt seem to fit in..
        cause whenever i told people what kept me busy
        most of m didnt believe me.. they called me a freak.. talking shit behind my back.. “you know he is sick in the head.. this n that” and the people that believed me.. wher intreged in the beginning.. but later on when my experiences became creepier it began to obsess me.. people arround me completely freaked out.. those that understood.. didnt want nothing to do with ME.. and every time i met someone who in some way made a connection to my “demon”
        i didnt want nothing to do with THEM..
        so i was left behind with only the ones
        who made fun of me..
        but honnestly
        i couldnt care les.. every thing better than beeing scared shitless.. so i joined m ..
        and compelely made a fool of myself..
        i thought fuck it.. dont care about reality..
        i got my own shit gooing on in my head.. mostly at night time.. in a sort of pop-up screen that opened up infront of my eyes.. like windows… appearing randomly without me knowing it… i could never tel the difference.. i never knew if i was awake.. or dreaming.. for excample.. in the middle of the night.. i got a text message on my phone.. laying on my cupboard.. i took it and while i was reading it.. suddenly from beside my bed came a supercreepy dark rotting corps type of hand.. that grabbed my phone.. and acting out of reflex i grabbed hold of its wrist.. n after getting n horrific schock that words cant explain.. i laid in my bed.. in the same room where it happend.. with my phone on my cupboard.. without even dearing to move or breathe while shiffers running up n down my spine.. for n hour or so… the only thing that went thrue my mind was:
        am i awake?/or am i dreaming?/
        am i awake?/or am i dreaming/
        am i awake?/or am i dreaming?/
        am i awake?/or am i dreaming/

        but after a period of about 8 or 9 years
        of beeing scared shitless.. on a weekly basis
        u get used to it

        and now i know its just my own imagination

        trying to get better than me!!
        and it cant hurt me..

        only scare me..

        it is my teacher

        and i’ve learned

        if you hear voices

        simply yawn and they are gone

        because immagination may never

        take the lead.. the dreams we have

        are ours to master

        cause we are free to choose

        what dreams we pursuit..

        i am a candle.. when i function

        i do two things

        i shine my light upon what is arround me

        and i burn..

        at the same time

        so its my choice

        for wherever i lay my focus on

        becomes my growing mindstate..

        now eversince i lost my fear

        i am no longer burning..

        because now

        when ever it appearce

        like the ink of a squid

        spraying in my view

        from the corners of my retina

        i say hello darknes my old friend

        and while i see it circling my bed

        i feel save like i am sleeping

        in a coccoon

        created by a holy guardian

        • Quislibet

          Please tell me more about your experience?

          • gerben dijkstra

            ive also had a reacuring night mare eversince i was a little boy.. about a strange hand laying next to me.. when i got older.. i alwayus wanted to put on my light switch.. but could not succeed in it.. simply becouse it was my spirit hand.. i realized it once because our neighbour behind us always had a lamp in his garden shining thrue my curtains so i could always see my room arround me.. even when the lights wer of.. then i looked at my hand once and it was invisible.. and then i saw my natural hand laying beside me..what explained my dream.. as a kid i always slept with the lights on.. ive had several occasions that i went to the toilet in the middle of the night.. and came back in my room.. eand i saw myself laying in my bed..very scary at first.. you ask yourself.. huhh?? ive i am laying there!! than WHO am i?? sow every time i walked into my room at night i was scared if maybe i would see myself again.. later when i couldnt get my light switch to flip over for the 80st time i became aware, hey this must be my spirit hand.. and i looked at my hand and yess they where invisible.. so i stepped out of bed.. and looked behind me and saw myself laying in the bed .. then i realized it was n outher body experience.. i never dared to go far from my body afraid that the connection would brake.. and it would kill me.. but when i layed my hand on the walls and pushed i pushed right threw it.. and i once read a book about it but.. strange things started to happen while reading it so i never finished it.. now i am aware of that its possible for me to have n outher body experience.. but i cant yet control it… think when i get older il look further into it.. but i m too busy enjoying reality now adays.. i left it behindme.. a few months ago.. i was wakened by a sweet womens voice she talked to me in dutch.. (couse im from holland) she said: hello time to wake up.. hello wakey wakey.. real sweet.. i looked up and couldnt see her (cant see myself either when im out of my body so that explains it) but felt her awareness beside my bed.. and then she walked thrue the door.. gooing away i yelled her after.. hey do you have a living body somewhere?? she replyed: yeeah thats a question for you, and for me to know.. thats the last she said.. now i dont know if this was from my own subconsious or really someone looking me up.. but its very magical to me.. but i had multiple psychosises.. and ive been labled.. with a scitzoactive dissorder in the bipolar section.. they couldnt quite find it.. but for years i walked arround like a zombie.. but now im getting good medication.. xceplion it has almost no side effects.. and keeps me in reality.. i have a job.. and a pretty normal life.. i can say that they helped me quite wel..
            i never talked about it on ther internet couse i was afraid people would judge me.. but after reading this very positive article.. i suddenly got the confidence to bring it out in public.. im no longer eshamed =)

  • steven

    I find this fascinating. I have worked in mental health for a long time. Those diagnosed with schizophrenia are sometimes the most intelligent, amazing people you will meet. What the author is doing here is telling a story that goes against the labels, it fights stigma. Did you know that psychiatric medications work only 20 percent of the time? If what we were doing was working, why is there such a high recidivism rate? Why do patients continually end up in the hospital? Because we give them drugs that give them diabetes, and generally do not work. This man is brilliant

  • victoria

    A few years aGo I had actually been praying for enlightenment. Within the week I lost complete touch with “reality”. I experienced a scary trip that took me to the darkest parts of my soul and I had to face them one at a time. I then went through a detox period. By this time my family had put me in the psych ward of a hospital. I then had to face every person I had ever wronged and apologize. I thought I was going to die. Then I began to put myself back together with the help of a mute nun in scrubs well thats what I saw anyway.. she led me the next few days to take care of myself. I then began to understand the universe and how everything is energy and how when we begin to doubt ourselves we literally put a wall up. I felt the spin of the universe and saw everyone in their highest form as the article states. It was a profound experience I was diagnosed with temporary psychosis and stayed there for a week. When I came out of my awakening I became a Reiki healer. Thank you to who ever wrote this article and my heart goes out to whomever is going or has gone through this and didnt find a way to integrate the knowledge and come back to this world.

    • Kyle

      Boom there we go. People with these “Mental illness” are gifted people who are being tested. They must take what they are getting and learn from it.

  • Alls I can say to this article is AMEN!!! THANK YOU!! I have been saying this for YEARS now! I have included your article in my video https://www.facebook.com/Nenari/videos/10205387935875876/?permPage=1 and here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WkpxXku5Pg I deeply appreciate this article. THANK YOU!!!

  • Dana Ferreira

    What a load of boulderdash! So hearing voices that consistently tell you “they coming for you”, “you are worthless” or “they want to kill you” is connecting with a higher frequency??? This article is an insult to anyone who has to suffer with hallucinations and paranoia.

    Feel free to think your mushroom trip connects you to a higher plane, but don’t try to pass off genuine mental illness as some sort of desirable state.

    • Daniel

      NONONO, the last paragraph explains “hallucinations and delusions can be quite harmful in the sense they are asking people to act violently and they are seeing demons. This is likely due to the either trauma or repressed feelings.” This blog has BEAUTIFUL info. DANA FERREIRA , READ PLEASE!!

  • Dana Ferreira

    Excellent reply!

  • Jennie McDaniel

    Add anger management to your list of treatment

    • Brendon Freeman

      Jennie – excellent suggestion. I have one for you, since we’re in an open forum where you think unsolicited psychiatric advice is appropriate: spend some time introspecting and identify why exactly you felt threatened by mogui’s comment. You wouldn’t have suggested anger management without an inherent core fear that you’ve been hiding from your entire life. Thank me later.

      • Naomi

        truth!

  • Jim Wohlford

    Thank you for sharing your ahah moment… your realization and how it came to you. It is an amazing ride…

  • growin

    I agree. The writer has obviously not gone through these experiences..

  • I do not have a medical degree of any sort. I do work in a treatment facility. I’m not trying to offend anyone…just curious. What do you do when you’re having an (episode?) bad day? What helps?

    • Alain Bos

      Never give up on yourself.

      “When you go through a hard period, When everything seems to
      oppose you, … When you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, NEVER GIVE
      UP! Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!”

      “Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything
      out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the
      yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can
      grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden
      beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better
      things will take their place.”

      “Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the
      bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance
      when you’re perfectly free.”

  • I do not have a medical degree of any kind. I do work in a treatment facility and have seen/heard people go through their, I’m going to call it a bad day, sometimes it ends up quite violent. Other times it just takes time to get through it. What do you do when you’re having a bad day? Is there anything that helps in the moment for you? I’m not trying to offend anyone..just curious. I know medication (what kind i do not know) can help. I know some cannot take some medication because of other health issues.

    • mogui

      Thank you for your genuine question. So that you know, I am medicated, which I am sure some people will feel disqualifies my opinion. If it were not for the medicine I would not be here to share it at all.

      Some days I simply need to step back, as I stepped away from this article for a while. Otherwise all I can really do is try to wait through it. I have trusted friends who don’t question my experiences or my perceptions, they validate my feelings and respect my boundaries, but let me know they are there for me and hope I feel better, and that they will be there for me when I do.

      I have learned to cope primarily through experience and trying to maintain balance through life choices, but again, none of this helped before I was put on the correct medicine. I had to go through a couple before we found what was right for me, but I do not regret a second of it.

      Not everything works for everyone and everyone’s treatment should be tailored to their needs.

  • I think it’s important to pursue different approaches for any illness, whether it’s mental, physical, emotional, psychological etc. There is no ‘one size fits all’ for the entire population. So much is at play, based on our experiences, levels of traumas we’ve endured, our educational background, beliefs that were ingrained during our growing up years, societal etc.

    I have met people who experienced severe depressions, anxiety attacks and had energy work performed and over time their symptoms reduced dramatically, which in turn they gradually made lifestyle changes in their relationships, what they consumed for their health, and quit unhealthy habits of drugs, cigarettes, drinking etc. I’ve many many that pursued a spiritual path, and worked on healing the layers of what they have been thru, and over time had the necessary tools to lead productive lives.

    I think psychiatry, psychology, sometimes medications etc have their place FOR SOME, but not all. I pursued counselling in my 20s and it was very effective in finding tools to cope with painful times in my life. I tried anti-depressants and found they just numbed me out, where i didn’t feel anything and was a zombie. It wasn’t for me. Am i saying no one should take anti-depressants? Of course not – because each person has to decide for themselves what is effective for their own issues.

    Why do people get so threatened by an alternative view? No one is forcing anyone to read or pursue this information. If you don’t agree with it? Don’t read it and continue on your path that works for you. There are people who are searching and trying to find solutions to their problems – and for those still searching? Don’t give up until you find what works for you. Each person has their own individual path to enlightenment and health. Don’t let societal pressures stop you from that search.

  • take mask off

    I am glad that we are even having this discussion. This wouldn’t have happened 5 years ago. I would never purposely offend anyone, however this is a topic that will do that. I wish to eradicate all stigma. We have these discussions on my blog all the time. I did mention that the delusions can be harmful. Every experience is different. I am always open to a discussion. Thank you so much for those that have supported me, I’m glad you know who I am and what I am about.

    THAT’S Why I Do It

    Thank you

    Cf

  • john649

    Actually bipolar and schizophrenia are symptoms that a person has entities. Entitles exist in the subtle realm. Every human has a subtle energy body and that energy body is very fragile and can be penetrated by entitles.
    Multiple personalities means multiple entities have entered one’s energy field. Those voices people claim to hear are the thoughts forms from entities who usually want to create havoc. Any one who is truly enlightened knows all about entitles and their existence.

  • TL22

    I have “heard voices” and “seen” things my entire life and many people
    including a few medical professionals have suggested I seek help. I
    believe many times, not all, that there are experiences in this world
    which stretch beyond the boundaries of what we, as a society, or
    medical community, deem as normal or acceptable. Not
    everyone has a mental illness just because they can experience
    things others cannot. Embracing two realities is a gift that should
    not be shunned, ignored, stifled or medicated because others
    don’t understand it or won’t accept that perhaps there is
    something more going on than what the mind can comprehend.

  • Joan

    I read the article and I’ve been familiar with the concepts of various mental illnesses as a trained professional in counseling psychology, but never has the fullness of the condition of manic bipolar become alive for me until it hit me full-on as I have to deal with my adult child who has been diagnosed with the same. I’m not going to argue that the description of the symptoms being accurate or inaccurate. But what is accurate is that it cannot be dealt with in some systematic, one treatment for all kind of notion. It is a very individual condition and must be dealt with as such. I am very unhappy with the medical treatment available… It is very archaic and only attempts to control symptoms chemically. Yes I am very thankful for the controls the medication has in my particular situation, but it only goes to support that fact that the mentally ill are the most discriminated group of people alive. The genius, the depth of original thought and expression is enviable in the height of mania. So many of our great thinkers, artists and philosophers certainly experienced some level of it. I suppose that frightening is the best descriptor of mental illness – frightening for the person experiencing it and frightening for those around that person.

  • Alex

    Im going crazy. Have been for months. Every characterization of psychosis contained in this piece of writing almost perfectly coincides with what I’ve been experiencing on an accelerating path, for months. The form of schizophrenia where you think there is a man outside your door trying to attack you is vastly different than whatever form of psychosis I’m experiencing. I see things. Beautiful things, colors, moving shadowy kaleidoscopes, complex symmetrical patterns in the walls or the grass. I’ve seen trees grow infinitely upwards, without ever actually gaining height. I’ve realized that most people are occluded. That there is an obvious form and a latent one. I know that I am in closer contact with the latent form than most people. I know that I am everybody. That we are all of this One Soul that I can feel within me, feel within everybody. I know there is no time. I also know that these things are crazy. I believe them fully and that is why I am different, my arising beliefs aren’t theories, they are what I know to be true. These realizations make me happier than I have ever been. I feel constant joy, due to my ‘mental illness’. Maybe some people are violently attacked by their unconscious, and that is th nature of their neurosis. But I feel my mind filling with joy and insanity. Don’t be mad at the writer just because you’ve witnessed a change in somebody’s psyche that was unpleasant for them. Some forms of lunacy are a lot of fun.

  • John Smith

    For those of us with “mental” problems… you’ll always have those experiences with critical and/or self-distructive voices until you learn to stop/control the activity of your mind. Your experience is very important for all of us since it shows us how to handle such situations… if you want, take into consideration these pieces of advice: stop eating animals and drinking alcohool since it lowers your vibrations and you are functioning on lower realms, do attention focus exercises and learn how to stop the activity of your mind… that’s huge!!!… an uncontrolled mind creates automatically the same experience based on what you already lived. Therefore, learn to stop experiencing what you do not want by stoping the mind and create consciously the experience you want through projection of the thoughts you want using a controlled mind … eventually, stop the medication!!!… and YES, you are not alone, God is in everything ( it is not what the church is telling you it is… and stop going to the church!!), there is a real free will to experience absolutely everything (isn’t this total unconditional love?). Enjoy the apocalyptic times! (in greek, apokalypsis means “to reveal, to disclose, to take into the light” ;)))

  • Somewhere

    This feeling of horrifying terror is all part of you, a part in you which you’re trying to neglect subconsciously. You can be affected by a feeling like that and then judge it if there’s something to affect.

    In any case mental illness is a gift because otherwise it is probably a nuisance to the host and in that scenario one is unable to feel at ease. I, too, have a so-called “mental illness” which I let myself be diagnosed with to avoid a certain bureaucratic system and I have gone through a lot of hardships in life during which I cursed all of my little aspects making me slightly different, however, nowadays I embrace it.

    I used to find millions of excuses for various scenarios and feelings in my life until I gave up; I have literally started to give up by letting all of the emotions get to me and then let them wreak havoc. Yet there is no havoc to be wreaked because all that happens is freedom, a sense of ease and happiness =)

    • mogui

      You are telling people suffering from mental illnesses–real, actual, physical brain differences that can be determined visually and chemically–that it is their own fault. You imply that anyone suffering from this is to blame for the pain they have. If only they were better people they would not be suffering, is what you are saying.

      This is so insulting and harmful, and it is the attitude I am talking about that we need to stop as it is tied in very closely to exactly the same attitude the article is portraying. How do you not see that this is STILL a stigma. You are simply making it a different one.

  • Andrew Peterson

    There is so many things wrong with article and I speak on behalf of people actually in the field. I am graduating from DePaul’s undergraduate program in psychology and clearly this person did not have accurate information.
    The only thing I do agree with is over medication of people with mental illness. The physicist argument was a joke. Hallucinations are based false sensory inputs caused by the brain primarily due to twisted neurons (a biological cause). The dsm is a tool used to help identify symptoms so we can help the individuals. Labeling is an unfortunate result of the helping process but sometimes is necessary to fully understand the issue. The dsm should only be used as a tool not as if it were law.
    The author also failed to mention other not medical treatment options that are effective with the help of medicine if needed, again showing the ignorance of the author. Lastly the author mentioned one type of schizophrenia went on about the subconscious which has no reliable evidence of being a factor of anything psychology.
    Awareness for helping people with mental illness on a non over medicating level is important but the facts need to be correct and less philosophical

  • mara rivers

    Thank you for your second person insight in to schizophrenia , it has many different components as I am sure you are aware of. I found your article touching and endearing and almost made me cry . Someone else sees it the profoundness of some experiences , like mine , it was a complete life changing life altering experience that lasted 4 years , My husband actually turned me into my Doctor, or I would still believe I am the next Buddha , lol I am interested in the first portion of your article the profoundness you see in it , the connections to the universe , I felt this way in every way , I wanted to save the world at one point , literally, I still have hallucinations and hear voices ,and a voice came to me with a very deep profound message I needed so much at that time , a mans voice just started to talk in my ear , told me what I needed to hear, I am very lucky,I do not have the paranoid or constant hate voice some suffer with daily , I am used to it by now and want to see where I go , as long as I see my Doctor and I have a support system I feel I am stable enough to move forward with it . Thank you for being so open with your own ego and vulnerabilities , you made a difference in my life , hearing something positive about my diagnosis instead of jokes and criticizing , and the photos some people use in their articles, can be just as devastating and cause just as much if not more harm than the words that are used , screaming faces with blood tears or ripping your head apart is detrimental to the illness IMHO.
    Thank you again for a positive look at our disability . Namaste

  • AliceInWonderland

    regarding your intensed feelings, i also did not like to make psychosis to seem as enlightment, not only because it is not true this and we, humans, need to speak only the truth, but also because i had pass through psychosis and i really now that shity feeling. But i managed my anger and dissapointment with the guy, because i understand he mght be confused. He connects the phrases told by people with psychosis with the enlighted and boom, he finds perfect correlation. But in the statistics it is also correlated the temperature with the pirates and the wifi use. Whatever. We just need to understand that the person is wrong, everyone could have been confused from the time that the expressions are the same in both cases.
    Maybe he just now discovers enlightment, psychosis and other staff available online.

  • AliceInWonderland

    What you are writing is completely wrong. I had scizofreneia and due to my increased education i had the opportunity to overcome it alone. Now i am a researcher and in the same time due to the way i managed the scizofrenia i am able to feel many things and to feel the feelings and willings of other humans pragmatically. When you feel it in scizofrenia is a different thing, a false sense. When TV talks to you it is a different thing. The message that you get from enlightment and from the scizofrenia are two completely different things. You cannot understand if you haven’t pass through scizofrenpnia and healing yourself on your own just by knowing yourself better and better. Please leave your email in a comment. I will contact you explaining how really it is the schizo and the enlightment and then you can correct and write a super article.
    All the best.

  • Delia F

    I had a nervous breakdown in 2012 also. I saw my friends transforming into demons who were after my soul and I have prayed intensively to Christ to save me for hours and hours of despair and madness. And this episode has occured few other times after this. People send me to shriks and priests. When I have the episodes I swear to God if I survive this one I will change and then I think I was crazy interpreting everything and I go back and do the same things. I still can’t figure it out.

  • Insanity is the highest form of mind evolution.. Providing you survive.. I think this is what they call a right of passage.. Also.. if bad things are inexistent.. How can we prove to our selves there are good things? If sad things are inexistent.. How can we say there are happy things? We are being forged like a sword.. A swords purpose is to cut.. Our purpose? Who knows.. At the right time you’ll be introduced to things.. Don’t hope.. For it will come.. Always know.. That there’s always the good in the bad.. You’ll realize you are just getting ready for the next battle..