19th July 2016
Contributing writer for Wake Up World
Seven years ago, when I emerged from the doctor’s office after having my worst fears confirmed, I knew that I had some big decisions to make. With the words “most likely Multiple Sclerosis” reverberating around my mind I felt shaky and nauseas. I wanted to crawl into bed and drown in a deluge of tears and despair. This was not how I had envisaged my charmed life unfolding. I was with the love of my life and we had a nine month old baby; this was supposed to be the happily ever after part.
That night lying in the bath I could feel my body throbbing with fear. My mind was busy fielding the images that surfaced and threatened to overtake me: the slow degeneration of my body, the social pity, and all the dreams that would now never be. Then, at one point I felt compelled to raise my arms in the air and slowly wave them around. Though I knew it seemed mad, the urge was strong and I followed the call. As I let a slow organic flow move my upper limbs I felt the first glimpse of hope since I left the doctor’s office. This movement that emanated from deep within seemed to calm my mind and made me feel that maybe this illness had deeper implications.