The Problem With Looking For a Reason to Love

By Paul Lenda

Staff Writer for Wake Up World

Love. It’s a word that is used often. Usually, it is attached to a person, place, or thing. The way it’s usually used suggests that there has to be an external point of focus for the energy of love to be present. However, this is not the case, and is actually conditional love.

It’s a bold statement to make, but there are many people today who are not actually in love, but instead like the idea of being loved. When it comes to an opportunity of sharing love with someone else, they find difficulty in doing so, because they are not already in the consciousness of love.

People often look for a reason to love. The issue with this is that when you need a reason, your love will be casual and conditional. This will ultimately lead to suffering, when the focus of that love is no longer there.

“If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others.”

-Dalai Lama

Love has to first and foremost come from within you. If needs to be the energy that drives everything you think, say, and do. When it doesn’t, simply become aware of that being the case and bring your focus back to love.

Everybody falls into the traps of the separation illusion, which causes us to see things as distinct from us, yet under the surface, we’re all part of the same collective Source. This means we can find the light within everything, because everything ultimately comes from the same Source. The Source is called that because it is the origin of all that is…and all that is, was created in some way. The act of creation is an act of love. This is why it can be said that “making love” is a creative energy that literally brings physical creation into existence.

Love is the creative energy of Reality. When we align our awareness with love, we are able to love what others would be unable to find love for.

This ultimately comes down to you being able to love yourself. I’m not talking about some egoic version of infatuation with ourselves, but having love for ourselves. Being compassionate in this way helps us more easily love others, no matter who they are. If we don’t love ourselves, we will find it next to impossible to love others.

Love comes from within. When we look for it outside of ourselves, we will undoubtedly suffer when we cannot find something to either use as a point of focus for our love, or we will siphon energy from it. This can turn into a draining relationship in some cases, which will only cause additional suffering for both you and the other person.

People sometimes have trouble with loving themselves. They may feel some sort of shame, guilt, or other similar emotion. Ralph Waldo Emerson said that, “the love you withhold is the pain you carry.” It can be difficult to overcome trauma or suffering sometimes and love yourself. However, when you do give yourself the permission to be a generator of love, you can shift your consciousness and make anything possible. When you are loving towards yourself, you will find it easy to love others.

Live a life that you will love and let love be the guide in your life. Everything you say, think, and do can be done with love. Otherwise, you will be searching for love and never find it. Love comes from the creative Source flame within you. You can always connect to it and let it flow and pulse out even more. The love coming from the eternal wellspring within you cannot be diminished by anything without you agreeing to it.

Love is the most powerful energy in existence. Connect with it and let it be your guide.

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About the author:

Paul Lenda is a conscious evolution guide, founder & director of SHIFT, author, writer, speaker, meditation teacher, life coach, and ambassador for the New Paradigm wishing to provide an integral role in personal transformation and the collective social transformation of humanity. Paul offers private one-on-one holistic life counseling & conscious evolution sessions, via Skype or phone. Paul takes into account all aspects of the hyperdimensional matrix when providing guidance, counseling, and coaching.

You can connect with Paul via:


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