Why Am I All of Sudden Afraid of Spirituality?

January 19th, 2022

“Why am I all of a sudden scared of spirituality lol.” This is one of the questions I received and a very relevant question as many people are currently at an intersection regarding their own spiritual evolution.

There is no one reason why people are scared of spirituality. What we call the new age movement today is not a cohesive unit. It’s a mosaic of different schools of thought that fall under the umbrella term of New Age. So, there are a host of different reasons why a person may fear spirituality including just by expanding our awareness into the fringe.

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So this article will cover the biggest reasons why people would start to fear spirituality and at the end I will reveal the number one reason people fear spirituality and shed light on how to navigate that stage of a spiritual awakening.

Spirituality today is an intersection of channeled information, star seeds, paganism, a revival of ancient knowledge, the human potential movement, ascended masters, epigenetics, neoshamanism quantum mechanics, a lot of the false light activity and religious figures. As you can see, anything considered spiritual is pretty much chucked into this category of new age by the public sphere, even things that don’t belong there like indigenous practices that are deeply healing for the soul.

Out of this sordid soup, one of the reasons a person may fear spirituality is that the new age has aspects of it that are simply a new cage. Meaning it picks up where religion left off, only with a rebranding of the same old systems of control but with a modern twist. We could sense the theme of duality as with light versus dark and be completely disenchanted with this spiritual charade of viewing the self and Source as one dimensional.

Another one of the biggest reasons people fear spirituality is because it dwells within the whole ancient knowledge part I mentioned which is esoteric in nature, and the esoteric can be really intense when we are use to relating to life from the outer layer of reality known as the exoteric. I touch on this concept in my video “the 3 types of souls inside this Matrix”

Exoteric knowledge is knowledge in its most reduced form. It pertains to the external, outer layer of understanding that is superficial in nature. It is available to the masses and is likely to be understood by the public sphere. If you were to imagine the layers of an onion, the exoteric realm would be the outer layer of the onion. On the outer layer, there is a superficial level of perception so we will only understand a concept in its most shallow form as with religion.

We may interpret the world of the inner layers of reality as scary, or even dark. That’s because a person who resides in the exoteric realm is more familiar with the exoteric version of reality that does not extend beyond a surface-level knowing be it of spiritual teachings or our worldview.

Whereas esoteric knowledge is the inner or hidden dimensions of reality. This is the subtle realm that deals with subtle energy, nuance, and essence. Esoteric knowledge is the ageless wisdom and inner most meaning of a concept. It is likely to not be understood by the public, not because the knowledge remains unavailable to the masses, but because the knowledge requires labor and preparation to innerstand. The seeker must develop the eyes to see and the ears to hear life’s most refined truths. Ultimately, the esoteric requires direct experience.

If there is no direct experience then all gnosis would be rehearsed and vain. Esoteric symbolism is meant to lead a person into contact with their inner being. When Esoteric concepts are interpreted by the exoteric, some may get overwhelmed by it all and likely confuse these matters as malevolent. Because they can’t connect with meaning that is beyond the exterior form. This is why some people fear alchemy as in their ignorance they mistake the union of masculine and feminine energies as being literal.

A lot of what we call the new age movement is actually esoteric aka the old age. Such as the chakra system, thoughts creating reality, or the tarot. We are currently in the midst of a hermetic revival and the esoteric can come across as highly suspect in an age where we are seeing it blatantly used against us.

When we are first exposed to spiritual concepts, we have just enough knowledge to be scared, but not enough to make sense of anything. This is where a lot of people tap out. They see one mudra and go “That’s it—I’m out!” and run back to religion to recover. Because the less we know, the greater we fear, and this goes with anything.

So the first most important point to understand is that most symbols are objective. A symbol holds an archetypal power, and that archetypal power can be used for positive or negative intent.

For example, the archetype of the high priestess is a symbol for our intuition, the hidden knowledge of our subconscious, connection with the higher self, inner knowing and divine wisdom.

But if we see this symbolism prancing around the mainstream in a sinister way we can automatically equate it with being “dark” and therefore begin to fear the symbol.

Perhaps the most feared symbol of all is the eye of providence, which is a Christian adaptation of the Egyptian Eye of Horus. In its reversed form, the eye of Horus is the symbol of control through concealing knowledge, it is suppressed knowledge so as to keep humanity in a childlike state of dependence. The intent of it used in this manner is to cut humanity off from its ability to become spiritually sovereign.

In its upright posture, the eye is a symbol of resurrection after the ego’s death into the “I am” presence of enlightenment. It is a single eye illustrating their consciousness is no longer divided. The ego and the Higher Self have merged blossoming into Enlightenment. You can imagine why this symbol would be opposed to those that wish to control others, so why not hijack it?

And in our ignorance we equate it with being evil. When what’s actually taking place is an attempt to seize control of the universal power held in these symbols to harness that power for their own intentions. They’re not so much obsessed with flashing their symbols, that’s secondary, what their obsessed with is taking the meaning of the symbols and hand gestures over to rewrite the script so that you think it belongs to them and not to you.

Many of you may remember seeing the scene from Aladdin where the genie is under the control of Jafar. The genie has his hands cuffed and says something dejected like “Sorry kid”. That’s a great illustration of the way the power of these symbols are harnessed. Our own ignorance to the true meaning of these symbols, mudras, and powers is part of the manipulation. It’s important to note that you don’t need to love symbols or use them however, knowing the archetypal energy they channel can liberate us from fearing them.

All the hermetic arts such as alchemy, astrology, the tarot are tools to know thyself. They are ways to understand the rites of passage that the psyche is undergoing. When we fear these symbols we are fearing the tools that connect us with the inner process of our own subconscious.

Of all the symbols one ought to be weary of are the ones central to Saturn worship. Which ironically is not from spirituality, but from religion like the cross and the black cube.

Another reason someone can fear spirituality is because there’s a pagan aspect to it that directs a lot of worship energy to deities and nature spirits. If that’s not someone’s cup of tea and they prefer being spiritually sovereign than that has the potential to invoke fear.

And the number one reason people fear spirituality is because there’s a lot of confusion over where it stands in accordance to God. There’s a deeply embedded belief within humanity that to make yourself equal to god is demonic. Even spiritually minded people hold this belief that to think you are equal to god is the egos most dangerous delusion.

But this is the most confusing topic of all. Because you see, there are two sides to this coin. In fact the key to this reality is there are two of everything.

On one side of the equation, you have dark occultists anointing themselves as above God, who hold a genuine contempt for Spirit. And on the other, you have our spiritual evolution into the state of God consciousness known as Oneness. This is the level of being where we have awakened to our true identity as Source incarnate and this is no passing state. In fact this is the true meaning of revelations.

But guess what happens when you implant hell fire prophecy into holy books? You get to distort everything and control the narrative.

You can imagine that for someone who is not aware of these two sides of the coin, that it can be quite scary to tread down the path of spiritual sovereignty. They might fear ending up glorifying the ego.

But it isn’t the ego that gets glorified. It’s the I am presence within us. The infinite sovereign who is currently in a human experience. In fact, we are so vast that the real delusion is to believe that all we are is our current name and address.

Expanding our consciousness into this truth can be the scariest thing of all because it would require us to give up our egos attachments to remaining small. We typically blame the ego for its more grandiose conduct, while failing to recognize its subordinate conduct. The ego has much more at stake in keeping itself subservient to both creation and creator because it can best remain intact this way.

So on one side you have the epitome of ego attempting to cut humanity off from its own divinity so it can feed its existential power trip, concerned only with their own preservation and domination.

And on the other side you have the awakened I am presence. Source consciousness embodied. Fully awakened to its eternal and infinite being. To have us fear our own identity as an eternal creator is perhaps the most sophisticated form of manipulation one can ever pull.

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About the author:

Sarah Elkhaldy is an energy healer trained in shamanic and holistic healing modalities that address soul loss, trauma, supporting the body in detoxification of chronic stressors and regeneration.

She is the administrator of the social media account: The Alchemist, where she shares esoteric knowledge to help humanity gracefully tap into our evolutionary potential. She considers it her work to connect the higher with the lower; the outer world with the inner world.

Sarah hosts retreats and workshops in Los Angeles on Alchemy and Shadow Work.

You can get in touch with Sarah here: