Guest Writer for Wake Up World
Rarely do we associate loneliness with happiness, but is it possible to be alone and happy?
Loneliness and, in some instances, seclusion are things that millions of people grapple with daily. Loneliness can be imposed by circumstances such as the death of loved ones, family moving away, work obligations or social anxiety. Loneliness can also be self-imposed in situations where people withdraw from society into a secluded and “atomized” existence if they feel they cannot find “their place” in the world. Some people are also loners by nature and prefer living in an environment where they have all the physical and emotional space that they need.
Society often regards lonely people as remarkably unhappy and even awkward. We are wired to socialize and interact and that is why lonely situations can be viewed with a great deal of suspicion. But loneliness can also be disastrous on the individuals who find themselves in an enforced loneliness where outside circumstances beyond their control are the main causes of their loneliness.
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In such situations, it is easy to lose your sense of proportion. For example, you might lose your sense of organization. Your thoughts will wander off and you are unlikely to get any productive work accomplished. In some cases, loneliness can even contribute to suicide when lonely people feel that their lives are not worth living if they are unable to build the social bonds that will make their lives meaningful.
Is it possible to be alone and happy? Here are some important tips on how to be happy alone:
Take Good Care of Your Home
It is very easy to neglect your home when you are not around other people. Before long, you might have dishes piling up, dirty cups all over the place, a mountains of dirty clothes.
Even when people are not constantly walking into your home, it is in your best interest to keep your living place clean, tidy and well organized. A clean home equals a clean mind. When your mind is disorganized and lacks focus, it will be difficult for you to get anything worthwhile done.
When your home is clean, well-organized and tidy, you will feel happy whenever you walk in and all you will wish for is to spend more time inside and savor the moments.
Create Something
Being alone without any distractions provides you with a great opportunity to bring forth your inner creativity to build something that you truly value. If you have the writing bug, you could blog, write a novel or an e-Book on a topic that you love. If you love painting, you could immerse yourself deep in the comfort and calmness of solitude and let those creative powers burst through
Solitude is particularly a fertile ground for the creative minds who love to work with intense focus and without any distractions. Isolation can offer you much inspiration to get something done and also boosts your productivity immensely. If you need something done that will require intense mental focus, then you better do it in an atmosphere of solitude.
Treat Yourself to a Great Date
Who says people who live alone do not date or have some fun? Do not let your life slip into a monotonous routine. Find ways to break your routine by coming up with more creative ways to inject some fun. A date, even if it’s with yourself, can really energize you and inject excitement into your life.
Go out often and have some coffee. Dance, drink and be around other people. You can also go out on picnics, outings and other outdoor activities. If you work a lot indoors, consider shifting your work to more public places occasionally. The possibilities to form new networks, relationships or simply be happy around people are endless.
Cut Down on Mindless Consumption
When you are alone or lonely, it is easy to drift quickly into mindless consumption of things such as booze, the latest comedy series, Facebook or food. You do not have to keep track of every little piece of news that happens in the world. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t spend your time consuming meaningful media. Try watching documentaries, news commentaries or things that make you think.
Whatever you consume when you are alone, it is important to do it in moderation. If you are beginning to gain an obsession with something that adds zero value to your life such as social networks or sports scores, it is important to cut down so as to find new productive pursuits.
Eliminate the Noisy Thoughts
Your thoughts can be your best friend or your number one enemy when you are alone. It is therefore important to work extra time in order to eradicate those negative thoughts or negative energy that will drag you down.
One ugly aspect of negative thinking is that once a single negative thought takes hold of your mind, it spirals out of control to create the mental monsters that can simply shatter your life. When you are alone, you will also be highly susceptible to negativity. You, therefore, need to develop safeguards that will help you effectively manage your negative thinking and shift your mental attitude in a more positive diraction.
There are ways, both physical and mental, in which you can interrupt the negative train of thoughts and insert some positivity into the moment. For example, you can light some incense, take a slow nice hot bath, play some soothing music, do yoga, meditate or even get yourself some rest.
Create Beauty Out of the Ordinary
There is so much beauty in the world and you need to spot it in order to positively appreciate life. If you are alone, take some walks in nature, visit a lake or some naturally beautiful place – they have a profoundly restorative effect on our mental state. Visit a forest or some beautiful vista that inspires you. Appreciate the true magnificence of the world and you will begin developing a more positive attitude towards life.
About the author:
Frances Masters is a BACP accredited psychotherapist with over 30,000 client hours of experience.
In 2009 she co-founded the charity Reclaim Life and trained volunteer coaches in a unique model which integrated for the first time powerful psychotherapeutic skills with holistic life coaching tools that assist people to reformat their lives for success. The extended training program is accredited by the National College of Further Education.
At The Fusion Model, Frances writes about how to live your best life, by combining mental, bodily and spiritual wellness.
You can follow her work at TheFusionModel.com, Twitter.com/fusioncoachuk or Facebook.com/TheFusionModel
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