How to Be Happy Alone – 6 Tips to Use Today

How to Be Happy Alone - 6 Tips to Use Today

By Frances Masters

Guest Writer for Wake Up World

Rarely do we associate loneliness with happiness, but is it possible to be alone and happy?

Loneliness and, in some instances, seclusion are things that millions of people grapple with daily. Loneliness can be imposed by circumstances such as the death of loved ones, family moving away, work obligations or social anxiety. Loneliness can also be self-imposed in situations where people withdraw from society into a secluded and “atomized” existence if they feel they cannot find “their place” in the world. Some people are also loners by nature and prefer living in an environment where they have all the physical and emotional space that they need.

Society often regards lonely people as remarkably unhappy and even awkward. We are wired to socialize and interact and that is why lonely situations can be viewed with a great deal of suspicion. But loneliness can also be disastrous on the individuals who find themselves in an enforced loneliness where outside circumstances beyond their control are the main causes of their loneliness.

In such situations, it is easy to lose your sense of proportion. For example, you might lose your sense of organization. Your thoughts will wander off and you are unlikely to get any productive work accomplished. In some cases, loneliness can even contribute to suicide when lonely people feel that their lives are not worth living if they are unable to build the social bonds that will make their lives meaningful.

Is it possible to be alone and happy? Here are some important tips on how to be happy alone:

Take Good Care of Your Home

It is very easy to neglect your home when you are not around other people. Before long, you might have dishes piling up, dirty cups all over the place, a mountains of dirty clothes.

Even when people are not constantly walking into your home, it is in your best interest to keep your living place clean, tidy and well organized. A clean home equals a clean mind. When your mind is disorganized and lacks focus, it will be difficult for you to get anything worthwhile done.

When your home is clean, well-organized and tidy, you will feel happy whenever you walk in and all you will wish for is to spend more time inside and savor the moments.

Create Something

Being alone without any distractions provides you with a great opportunity to bring forth your inner creativity to build something that you truly value. If you have the writing bug, you could blog, write a novel or an e-Book on a topic that you love. If you love painting, you could immerse yourself deep in the comfort and calmness of solitude and let those creative powers burst through

Solitude is particularly a fertile ground for the creative minds who love to work with intense focus and without any distractions. Isolation can offer you much inspiration to get something done and also boosts your productivity immensely. If you need something done that will require intense mental focus, then you better do it in an atmosphere of solitude.

Treat Yourself to a Great Date

Who says people who live alone do not date or have some fun? Do not let your life slip into a monotonous routine. Find ways to break your routine by coming up with more creative ways to inject some fun. A date, even if it’s with yourself, can really energize you and inject excitement into your life.

Go out often and have some coffee. Dance, drink and be around other people. You can also go out on picnics, outings and other outdoor activities. If you work a lot indoors, consider shifting your work to more public places occasionally. The possibilities to form new networks, relationships or simply be happy around people are endless.

Cut Down on Mindless Consumption

When you are alone or lonely, it is easy to drift quickly into mindless consumption of things such as booze, the latest comedy series, Facebook or food. You do not have to keep track of every little piece of news that happens in the world. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t spend your time consuming meaningful media. Try watching documentaries, news commentaries or things that make you think.

Whatever you consume when you are alone, it is important to do it in moderation. If you are beginning to gain an obsession with something that adds zero value to your life such as social networks or sports scores, it is important to cut down so as to find new productive pursuits.

Eliminate the Noisy Thoughts

Your thoughts can be your best friend or your number one enemy when you are alone. It is therefore important to work extra time in order to eradicate those negative thoughts or negative energy that will drag you down.

One ugly aspect of negative thinking is that once a single negative thought takes hold of your mind, it spirals out of control to create the mental monsters that can simply shatter your life. When you are alone, you will also be highly susceptible to negativity. You, therefore, need to develop safeguards that will help you effectively manage your negative thinking and shift your mental attitude in a more positive diraction.

There are ways, both physical and mental, in which you can interrupt the negative train of thoughts and insert some positivity into the moment. For example, you can light some incense, take a slow nice hot bath, play some soothing music, do yoga, meditate or even get yourself some rest.

Create Beauty Out of the Ordinary

There is so much beauty in the world and you need to spot it in order to positively appreciate life. If you are alone, take some walks in nature, visit a lake or some naturally beautiful place – they have a profoundly restorative effect on our mental state. Visit a forest or some beautiful vista that inspires you. Appreciate the true magnificence of the world and you will begin developing a more positive attitude towards life.

About the author:

Francis Masters2Frances Masters is a BACP accredited psychotherapist with over 30,000 client hours of experience.

In 2009 she co-founded the charity Reclaim Life and trained volunteer coaches in a unique model which integrated for the first time powerful psychotherapeutic skills with holistic life coaching tools that assist people to reformat their lives for success. The extended training program is accredited by the National College of Further Education.

At The Fusion Model, Frances writes about how to live your best life, by combining mental, bodily and spiritual wellness.

You can follow her work at TheFusionModel.com, Twitter.com/fusioncoachuk or Facebook.com/TheFusionModel

 


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  • Interesting that you mentioned “Create Something”. I think being involved in a challenging but meaning project, creating something we wish to leave in the world, is one of the key components of living a fulfilling life.

    The other day I was listening to an audio of the book “Dare to be 100”, and that is one of the things the author says: find a happy person, and you will find a project.

  • Mel

    At age 75 I am alone and enjoying every moment of it. I have no family left and very few friends left. The friends I do have all live in another state and we correspond a few time during the year.
    I keep myself busy by making out a list of things I need to get done for the day. In between those things on the list, I write poetry, am working on a novel, and enjoy jazz and classical music….and some county music. I don’t have time to be lonely. I love Wake Up
    World………such wonderful and informative articles.

    • atur3866

      All power to you Mel, you sound similar to me, you must be fabulous.

  • Taylor

    Exercise and diet?

  • atur3866

    As a lone traveler amongst the Human race, I can say excellent tips, especially the one about caring for the space you inhabit. Surprising coming from one so young, it’s taken me many years to figure it out. One more thing I would add….’Do not criticize yourself’. We’ve been bombarded throughout life with the criticisms of parents, siblings, teachers, friends, that’s the way life is. Leave them behind, all those negative comments were about the critic, not you. Flush them out. Life is glorious, I am fabulous and so are you.

    • Karen Leahy

      Yes – your spot on there – well put =D <3

  • Aida Cuellar

    Great read what i needed right now.

  • Ilse Steurs

    Been alone a great deal in my life. Wether it was in or out a relationship…. i am 42 years old now, and i got severely ill at 35.. and i still am, and propbably will never be healthy again. All the stuff i used to do to keep my mental health, has mostly disappeared. I try to find new ways to cope, but i find it extremely difficult. I knew very well how to enjoy life, even when having difficult times. But since my body is not capable to keep up anymore.. i keep bumping into walls.. There is no way out.. I am no longer able to move well. I am in constant physical pain 24/7 for about 7 years now. Surgeries didn’t succeed, painmeds just make you sleep and fogged, so no option either. .. One day i am able to do something, the next 3 weeks i might have to lay down .. There is nothing continuous .. no way to plan.. every single step is a question mark. Extremely lonely, since you do not only loose your social life, but in time you turn into a stranger to yourself. I am very grounded and very aware of my situation, and if one day the pain is not tolerable anymore for longer periods.. i will have no other choice then trow in the towel. The irony is… i enjoyed life so much.. I really hope they will be able to find some medecin or solution for the many people who’s lifes are destroyed by pain. ( without all the downsides of the current ones)

    • One day (or even a few hours) of doing something that interests or amuses and then 3 weeks of paying for it with pain. That is the story of my life too. Seven or eight years is about when I started to discover ways to do things I like. It’s been twelve years for me now and I fight to “try” and keep my body from getting worse even though that’s a loosing battle.
      I’ve learned to put aside some things I used to do for enjoyment. Farming has come to only gardening now. Fishing along shores while listening to and watching nature has taken on new meaning. It allows my mind to open and wonder away from my aches and pains.
      These are just two of the things I do now. Some days I do get into other things that leave me confined to home or even to bed for days or weeks, but I somewhat try to avoid those or find someone to help with what can’t be avoided.
      Even still I’m way past the thoughts of death I had for the first four or five years. I am again looking forward to whatever I have left of life in this world. Enjoying life again, just in a different way.
      When I do have something strenuous I either want to do or have to do, I try to limit how long I spend doing it so I don’t push this wreck of a body too far. It may take days to accomplish my goal this way but “I” do get it done which leaves me with that great feeling of accomplishment.
      I do understand your situation. Good luck and may the powers of the universe be with you.