True Forgiveness Leaves No Traces

Forgiveness Leaves No Trace

28th August 2014

By Nanice Ellis

Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

Forgiveness only manifests when we stop using the words or negative energies others have projected onto us, against ourselves.

If I say I forgive you for calling me worthless, yet I keep calling myself worthless, I am holding you within my energetic field and cannot release you until I release the belief that I am not worthy and I stop calling myself unworthy. In actuality, I’m keeping the words you gave me and using them against myself in order to keep myself small and powerless; and I am blaming you – whether that blaming is conscious or unconscious. Does that sound like forgiveness?

Or maybe, for example, I forgive my mother for neglecting or abandoning me and yet I go on neglecting or abandoning myself. Even if I no longer blame her there is a part of me that still energetically holds her accountable – or else I wouldn’t be doing it to myself. Even if I consciously take responsibility for my behavior and feelings, I’m still using her words and/or actions; no matter what I call it or how many times I release her. I haven’t forgiven her when I keep using her  to unconsciously justify my own negative actions towards myself; even without conscious justification, every time I do to myself what she did to me, I hold her liable on some energetic level.

In forgiving another, I can only forgive myself by releasing the perpetual harm that I inflict on myself in the name of the other.

To forgive another, I must take full responsibility for who I am while all the while realigning myself with a higher vibration of truth.

Taking responsibility for myself and releasing another means that I must stop hurting myself in those same ways that were inflicted upon me by the other. As long as I am still hurting myself in those ways, I have not forgiven anyone.

Taking responsibility for my own behavior, feelings, actions and even self-talk is not enough when we are talking about the true transformative power of forgiveness. In order to initiate the true powers of forgiveness, we must forgive ourselves, by stopping the replay of old voices and deeds that perpetuate old disempowering feelings.

What that means is that we must stop committing “crimes of the mind” against ourselves. We must stop criticizing ourselves, putting ourselves down, undermining ourselves, abandoning, neglecting, blaming, shaming and guilting ourselves into submission or powerlessness. We must claim our power and perfection and live it without compromise or sacrifice in any way. We must own our value and honor ourselves in the glorious and divine perfection of who we really are. Only then are we forgiven so that we are able to give forgiveness as well.

We must first forgive ourselves of the sins we commit against ourselves before we can ever forgive another. This means that in order to really forgive someone, you must own your power and worth and choose to express who you really are in all your unique and extraordinary ways.

Only by being true to ourselves and supporting ourselves on all levels can we ever really release another. Until then, they are our energetic prisoners, all the while we are claiming to be imprisoned by them. True forgiveness leaves no traces…

Previous articles by Nanice Ellis:

About the author:

Nanice Ellis main 150x150 Are You More Awake Than Your Family? 12 Ways to Heal Family Relationships for the HolidaysNanice Ellis has been a professional Life Coach for over 17 years, successfully coaching women and men from all over the world. Nanice is also a Theta Healer and Master Neuro Linguistic Practitioner.

Helping people to make quantum jumps  in their lives, Nanice’s very unique coaching style is often referred to as the “Nanice Effect”. By using powerful and proven manifestation techniques, Nanice coaches people to tap into the power of the Universe and live their dreams, bridging the gap from the imagination to the realization of that dream.  She  works with leaders, coaches, healers and anyone who wants  to live life to the fullest. The coaching programs offered include:  Live Your Dream Coaching ProgramManifestation Breakthrough ProgramRe-program Yourself for Success…  and  Healing Emotional Wounds.

Nanice is also the host of radio show “Chai with Nanice”  and  the author of several books including  The Infinite Power of You!  22 Secrets to Unlocking Your Personal Power, and her latest publication  Out of the Jungle  (a beginner’s guide to Ayahuasca). Her books are available here at and Ellis.

To connect with Nanice visit or book a free consultation with Nanice here


Did you find this article helpful?

If so, please consider a donation to help the evolution of Wake Up World and show your support for alternative media.

Your generosity is greatly appreciated.

Wake Up World's latest videos


  • Jack Adam Weber

    Helpful concepts, thank you. However, not all wounds suffered are ones that we inflict on ourselves. While I think you do shine a light on an important aspect of forgiveness here, it does not work in all situations of being hurt.

    For example, if you steal my belongings, or deceive me, or treat me unfairly, I might not be stealing from myself or considering myself worthless and still be upset for what you did. So, the methods here don’t seem to work in these situations, which is typical of events needing forgiveness. What do you think?

    • Mariposa

      Such a good point… this sounds like deep forgiveness. One possible response to this is straight Jesus style, w Buddhist intention. If we don’t forgive such perpetrators, we remain in a psychic victim mode, and are the ones who suffer. As long as we continue to hold anger against them, we are holding anger in our bodies, and/or fear, and it’s only hurting us and perpetuating hate. If we have lost our treasure but don’t move on, we continue to lose. The perpetrator may or may not care in the end, even w external intervention/punishment by the state, but we cannot get into their head to affect that. We can only release ourselves from damage and loss caused, to whatever extreme. If this is a case of clear criminal intent, we can do our part to break cycles of systemic injustice and work to stem youth from the limiting choices that perpetuate criminality. Offering the other cheek, showing love, is ultimately the only choice that can break the chain of evil, hate, darkness, hate, whatever you want to call it. Just thoughts…