Is Fear Holding You Back From Getting What You Really Need?

Is Fear Holding You Back From Getting What You Really Need

By  Caroline Diana Bobart

Guest Writer for Wake Up World

More than likely, you’ve been at a place of longing for more  before. That is, more enjoyment, purpose, fulfilment, meaning, contentment and peace. If you think back to the times in the past where you were actually able to make it happen, there are a few things that will stand out…

Authentic Choices

For starters, there would have been a point at which you consciously started choosing differently  – different, more authentic responses, behaviours and roles to those that caused you to feel you were compromising your truth. In doing so, you turned your back, so to speak, on the situation that kept you shackled and functioning at a mere fraction of your radiance and full potential. By choosing differently, you stepped over the imaginary line in the sand into the unknown with nothing but a glimmer of your real  self and your real voice, in which you placed all your trust that things would turn out okay.

Now fast-forward into the present moment…

If you are in a situation now that causes you to feel stuck, and you can recognise it as such, you’ve probably already begun wondering how you can change your circumstances – and your relationship to them –  in order that you feel less enmeshed; more free.  You are back at that very place of wanting more  out of life again.

At times like these,  when you have that  expanded awareness of your soul-level desires and inner needs that must  start being fulfilled for  you to thrive, one of two things can happen;

Either you are able to commit 100% and throw yourself entirely into whatever it is you need to do to find more of your spiritual freedom and truth…


You freeze;  you unconsciously step into a space of paralysis and fear that separates you from the very change of circumstance you so deeply desire and need.

Fear as an Indicator of Imminent Change

Fear in this context is the same as resistance  – resistance to the inner and outer shifts you instinctively know are on their way because it is human nature to evolve, grow and change.

Energetically shifting into this space of resistance/fear can happen in an instant without you even being aware of it. It is a reflection of your fundamental human instinct for self-preservation and your need to maintain a sense of safety in the face of “the unknown”. You can think of this innate instinct as being wired into your physiology, whereas your need for sacred purpose and meaning is one that is wired into your Spirit – your soul-level need for sacred expression here on earth. The existence of these two built-in feedback mechanisms alongside each other may seem counter-intuitive, however self-awareness is the key to striking the right balance between these two levels of perception between which we  naturally oscillate.

The more self-awareness you have of your capacity for functioning at these two levels, the more you can recognise when you are being called to fulfil a higher spiritual need – but are finding yourself stuck in a pool of resistance and fear.

What Situation Do You Know  Needs to Change?

Is it a relationship that doesn’t honour your basic emotional, much less spiritual needs?

A toxic job situation that negates any hopes you might have for a healthy work-life balance?

Ingrained patterns of self-sabotage that bypass the need for self-love and self-healing that you crave?

Regardless of your situation it is important to remember that your need for change  is what you most intimately know. You energetically resonate with it on the most minute levels of your awareness and being. It is natural to be wary of the unknown but it is only possible to buy time for so long before you Spirit reaches its limit, and starts searching for a way out.

It is much better to honour your Spiritual Wisdom as it speaks to you about your needs than to wait until you reach a point of inner desperation, looking  to find a way out at any cost.

Consciously shaping and creating your experiences as you trust in that intuitive wisdom – no matter how ambiguous or vague it feels – allows you to avoid the often destructive outcomes such as ill-health, irretrievable breakdown of communication in relationships, physical mishaps, injury etc. that can occur when your Spirit has quite simply, had enough.

It is also at this place that you most need help, understanding and support – someone or something to hold your hand, guide you and help you feel  safe to step beyond your ‘safe’ space of fear.

Fear Masquerading as ‘Legitimate’ Issues and Concerns

Fear in the face of change can show up in many different ways. Fear also has a proclivity to present itself through ‘concerns’ that convey a message of greater gravity or seriousness than they warrant.

No matter the version of fear you are experiencing, it serves the purpose of buying you time.  Fear keeps you feeling safe in a comfort zone of familiarity. Fear blocks you from stepping onto the metaphorical bridge that bypasses formerly limiting dynamics to get you to healthy and sustainable life-change on the other side.

As such, fear can show up as feelings and thoughts like these below;

–           I can’t do it

–           I don’t know how

–           What am I supposed to do?

–           What will others say?

–           I can’t afford it

–           What if I end up in a worse off place than I am now?

–           I don’t want to be alone

–           I don’t have the time

–           My family will disapprove

–           It’s better to stick with what I know

–      There is nothing I can see myself doing differently

–           Realistically speaking, I can’t see how this situation can change

If you take an honest look at these examples, you will notice that they all come from a place of detachment from your intuition, your Inner Spiritual Light. They each in their own way act as a smokescreen that deflects attention away from the burning inner need for deep healing and relief from the outer situation that is causing you grief.  Making your fears your reality blocks you from seeking and receiving the help you need.

In the context of these major underlying needs however, it is clear they are non-issues for a Spirit that is determined – no matter what  –  to flourish, heal and grow.

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Who or what is it that gels with who and where you are? Who or what can hold a space for you to better understand yourself, speak to your innermost needs and support you as you take your next steps? Is it a trusted family member, partner or a friend? It might be a new skill, venue, space or course you feel called to explore. Perhaps you intuitively know you would benefit from having a healer, mentor or coach to help you claim a level of personal empowerment that reflects your inherent radiance and truth. Whatever you feel guided to choose will, in one way or another, help you begin shifting the energy patterns around the situation that no longer serves your needs.

There is no right or wrong thing you can do, per say. The ACT of taking ownership for your life and continually trusting your intuition facilitates a natural relaxing of the energetic walls that keep you contained.

So it should be clear by now that the only thing standing in the way of the increased happiness, fulfilment and authentic expression you desire is your fear. When you truly understand this, you come to an inner place where you can feel the fear and do it anyway. You can allow yourself to reach out from that ‘safe’ space of fear and ask for the support you, the intuitive, capable, magnificent Spirit really want and need in order to create meaningful and lasting life-change.

Updated October 2014

About the author:


Caroline wants to live in a world where it’s easy for others to connect with their innermost desires and experience the exhilaration that comes when they find their groove. An  Intuitive Life Coach,  Caroline is the creator and facilitator of  Everyday Alchemy: Intuition at Work and Play, a system of intuitive self-healing programs,  thoughtfully designed to help you reveal your own essential energetic, intuitive and creative nature, and effect positive, meaningful life change.

You can experience Caroline’s work by joining the  Everyday Alchemy Personal Empowerment Community (EAPEC),  a platform designed to give you greater self-understanding and alignment with your inner knowing, spiritual purpose and needs. In this confidential and sacred space you are invited via online teleconference each month not only to show up as your most authentic self but to participate in various combinations of group discussion, journaling exercises, guided meditations, intuitive coaching and energy-based self-healing techniques.

Follow Caroline on Facebook at


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