By Richard West
Guest Writer for Wake Up World
I’m sure many of you can relate when I say that sometimes I dream of simply living a hermit lifestyle, complete in my own energy and communing with nature. What bliss! And yet, I observe time and time again that my soul brings me into situations with partners, friends, co-workers and neighbours which challenge this feeling. Relationships are a situation like no other, holding up such a clear mirror that they create both life’s deepest challenges and its most heart-warming moments.
What better platform for our ascension! We know that in order to ascend, we have to let go of everything holding us in the lower densities. And in order to transmute and heal from those attachments we have to experience and pass through the pain that’s holding us there. Relationships provide a mirror for so many key areas of transformation. Here are just a few:
- Noticing where we identify – Relationships pull us into the drama, demanding that we engage with the outer. They will show us everywhere that we make ourselves ‘less than’, giving our power away in order to receive a feeling of completion from our partners. Check out this article on the ‘Couple Identity’ for further reading.
- Dealing with emotional dependency – Where do you disempower yourself in order to avoid pain in a relationship? Where do you depend on your partner to fulfil an emotional need in you? Where do you give them the power over your inner wellbeing? It can be a complex issue for many people. For those interested, have a look at this online course.
- Learning how to express our truth – Many don’t express their full truth in relationships for fear of the consequences of doing so. When you work to overcome dependency and identification then it becomes a simple question of, “what’s more important to me?” Is it maintaining the status quo and staying in a kind of comfortable dissatisfaction, or is it staying true to myself, no matter what?
- Healing the divine masculine and feminine in YOU – Often the interaction between partners and other friends and acquaintances mirrors a much deeper dynamic between the masculine and feminine. Regardless of gender or orientation, we have both within us and relating to others shows us the constant interplay between the two. How do you feel to respond to your partner? Are you feeling assertive, protective or catalytic, or do you feel compassionate, surrendered or empathic? How to these two energies interact within you and with your partner? There is so much space for healing when we become aware of this dynamic, both in the inner microcosm and the wider, macrocosmic divine masculine and feminine.
The Challenge of Parting the Waves
Doing this kind of inner work has the potential to bring you closer to a partner in unfathomably beautiful ways. And yet, many experience an increased sense of isolation and loneliness in their relationships when on a conscious path, especially after an awakening experience. When we are still identified with certain aspects of our relationships and dependent in certain ways, we attract a relationship that reflects that. So, we can only attract aligned relationships into our lives by first aligning ourselves.
Noticing this can bring up huge amounts of pain, particularly remembering how you’ve journeyed with those people up until now. But there is a key point to remember when faced with these challenges:
A relationship with another is only ever really about your relationship with YOURSELF
We always get two kinds of mirrors in a relationship. Firstly, that which shows us who we are, and secondly, that which shows us who we aren’t! So, remember that the other person is only a mirror. There will understandably be grief when a relationship grows apart. The key is to honour the relationship without identifying with it. And that means remembering that it’s not actually the person we grieve over, but the feelings we associate with that person.
When we realise this, then moving on, while still painful, becomes an empowering process of reclaiming lost aspects of ourselves. It becomes a powerful catalyst for our ascension!
Coming Into Alignment with Others
As you continue to come into alignment with your soul, so you will also attract others into your life who are more in alignment with that. The mirrors change from more showing you what you aren’t to increasingly reflecting what you are! It’s a beautiful process to behold, like coming home. Increasingly there is a sense of family, of joint exploration and empowerment. Beautiful, magical and alive, it’s what makes the process so, so worthwhile.
However, even here there are pitfalls! Yes, of course, there’s always a new exploration to be had. Relating to another is never a blissfully perfect merging of souls – how boring would that be!
In fact many people fall back into identification at this stage. With promises of finding soul mates, deep intimacy, mind-blowing sex and experiencing that ever coveted unconditional love, it’s no surprise that this happens. However, what people often forget is that relating to others in a conscious way means opening yourself up to vulnerability. It means a near constant confrontation of your unconscious patterns, your trauma… your darkness, and therefore the darkness of the universe. Conscious relating means having the courage to look in the mirror and see EVERYTHING.
The Path to Ascension
Moving your centre of consciousness from lower densities to higher ones is a double edged sword. Yes, it’s about releasing attachment to everything that keeps you in the 3D. However, it’s also about engaging totally in 3D dynamics of living. What an opportunity for us! Yes, release attachment an identity, but don’t deny the 3D. It’s simply another vehicle of expression, and a beautiful one at that.
So, show up for every encounter. Tell your partner, friends, family and colleagues your truth. Show them who you are! Process the triggers, the karma that activates and reclaim yourself. And hold people’s hands, be passionate, be 100% present in every sexual encounter, show people how much you appreciate them. Allow yourself to experience the nectar of life. By doing this you also assist others in doing the same.
And bring every experience back to inside. Complete the circle by remembering that everything is a reflection of you. You hold the keys to your own unconditional love.
Coming into the 5D means establishing a relationship with the universe within you. When you do this, the whole world becomes a magical dance of communion. It becomes an ever flowing co-creation, not from a need to achieve something, but as a natural expression of who you are!
Recommended articles by Richard West:
- Conscious Relating: A Beautifully Powerful Path to Enlightenment
- The 2020 Parting of the Waves: Which Flow are You Riding?
- Post-Lockdown Blues? How to Really Feel Alive Again
- The Paradox of Passion: Stirring Your Creative Juices
- Why You No Longer Need to Fear Death
- Are You Responsible for Other People’s Suffering?
- Is Morality Judgmental?
- Walking Into the Abyss: A Simple Exercise for Overcoming Fear of the Unknown
- Overcoming Fear by Embracing Nothingness
- ‘I Told You So!’: Simple But Powerful Ways of Improving Communication with Loved Ones
About the author:
Richard West is a psychologist, spiritual facilitator, author of the book ‘Awakening through Change’ and a caring father. He facilitates the shift into a new paradigm by catalysing a parting of the waves of the old 3D consciousness to the empowered and free 5D consciousness. Specifically, he focuses on supporting people through relationship changes and facilitates soul sovereignty away from emotional dependency.