July 26th, 2024
Guest Writer for Wake Up World
How The Past Is Your Biggest Enemy In Life & Dealing With It
Caused by incidents in life that may have given you embarrassment, pain, and trauma, your dark, shadowy past stops you from being fully in the present time. Think how much more effective you could be in life if those aberrant energies locked up in your past were set free and allowed to function in the present time.
Your past can affect you in several ways. Before dealing with the past, learning how to overcome its potentially debilitating effects in certain circumstances, and gaining mastery in life, here are five things showing how the past is your biggest enemy.
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1. Fear
Look at it like this. Fear gets you most when you’re unwilling to confront it. The old adage “the more you resist, the more you become” is definitely the operative here.
Irrational fears, phobias, insecurities, and anxieties can be traced to similar recurring events from the past: You’re in a state of fear not just because of what you are experiencing but also because it’s related to a chain of similar circumstances in your past.
Fear can eat away at freedom of expression and prevent achievement. It essentially says, “Don’t try to achieve anything in life because you’ll get hurt.”
For examples:
*Don’t go playing soccer; you have a bad injury.
*Don’t venture out by climbing mountains; you’ll have a nasty fall.
*Don’t go performing on stage; you’ll make a fool of yourself and be mentally scared for life.
*Don’t go having a relationship; it will only end in tears.
Avoidances of the above, cynicism and resignation, lead to an unexpressed, unfulfilled fear-ran life. -One of a number of reasons why many don’t achieve.
2. Anger
Anger is an aspect of the past-based ego: A feeling or display of emotion from an experience you find yourself in. Ultimately, you are responsible for your anger. Like fear, anger either runs you, or you run it. Which will you choose?
The past can have the effect of making you create wants, expectations, and desires in life. When things happen that go against these expectations, anger and frustration kick in.
Anger, in the form of pettiness or gross overreaction, occurs because of unexpressed/undelivered communication related to earlier/similar incidents. Finally, when the communication comes out, the overly-charged expressed anger not only represents what’s occurring at that time but also unconsciously tries to deal with other earlier/similar incidents from the past.
3. Guilt
Living an emotional guilt-racked life is a potential crippler. Healthy guilt is essentially a warning sign related to something that’s gotten out of control. If we find ourselves neglecting a loved one by not visiting them when they’re ill, then guilt will serve as a warning sign, telling us to visit that person or otherwise he/she will fall out with you. So, we take heed and point our moral compass in the right direction by visiting that person.
However, when we don’t take heed or are unable to, that’s when problems start.
Then there’s guilt from those things that we don’t need to take heed of or fix. This is irrational guilt. For example, a mother may feel guilty for having left her child and gone to part-time work. This is irrational guilt because children have shown us that they can get along fine without their mums and develop normally…
Guilt can bring about a range of ill-health problems, but there are solutions.
4. Mistrust
A number of recurring exact/similar incidents can lead us to mistrust. That’s fine when our mistrust is appropriate, serving us well to deal with those dodgy circumstances. However, embarrassing, painful, or traumatic experiences from the past can lead us to inappropriate mistrust. Mistrust causes us to misjudge, gives rise to avoidant behaviour, and puts us in a state of irrational fear.
5. Lack of confidence
Coming from past-related circumstances, if you have low-self-esteem then you will in turn have a lack of confidence in your abilities. Even when having been successful those with a lack of self-confidence still have unjustified negative expectations due to mistrust in themselves.
Dealing with your past
It’s quite simple: either your past runs you, or you run it. There are two ways of dealing with your past. The first is to work through the things in your past, identifying those dark aspects that try to own and control you. Then, it becomes easier not to be the effect of them.
The second is to learn to confront the past in the present. To confront does not imply to ‘bear fisticuffs’ but simply ‘be there’ and allow yourself to experience whatever comes up: fear, anxiety, possible anger, guilt, mistrust, and lack of confidence.
In short, be in the presence of fear and just allow it to be. When you are willing to be with your fear and confront it, then it no longer has you; you have it.
Yes, it’s not easy; it does indeed take courage, but with practice, this is the key to gaining, not getting run by your past.
For further reading: Take a look at this excellent, inciteful article on gaining mastery in your life.
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About the Author:
My blogs, along with the related alternative news website iNewParadigm.com, are about my belief that we can create a world that makes a difference for everyone.
I had graduated in biomedical sciences and worked for a number of years in healthcare. I am now a retiree. My website is slanted on health matters.
However, over the years, I have come to the firm conclusion that practically every subject under the sun needs redefining using more truthful, honest, and integral approaches in theory and practice, hence the website’s name ‘New Paradigm’
From these new approaches, from the ‘imagination of ourselves,’ from our visions… a ‘new era’ in humanity can result!
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