When You’ve Tried Everything to Feel Better But Nothing Seems to Work…

By Rachel Horton White

Guest writer for Wake Up World

In spite of our best efforts to feel better and live a life of peace and joy, why does it still feel so hard sometimes to be human in this world? Why does it feel like we are never enough, that we always have to strive to be doing something more (even something that is good for us)?

Visualizations, affirmations, manifestations, intuitively getting messages from guides and angels, receiving Reiki or other energy healing, going to counseling, exercising, clearing/grounding energy, writing, talking, getting a new job… These are all things we think we will make us feel better. And sometimes they do.

But sometimes they don’t seem to work.

So then we think, “Once I [do this thing], then everything will be better.” How many times have you told yourself that as soon as this or that thing happens, or once you do this or that, then finally everything will work out. But when it doesn’t, what then?

We might feel like giving up. And that is definitely not the answer. We often then go back again to the beginning, looking for the next thing that might actually work to help us feel better. Many times though we end up stuck back in our self-defeating spin cycle of thoughts that tell us that the worst is going to happen. These are the thoughts that are convinced that we are going to fail, that we are just faking it, that we can’t do it or that we aren’t as good as that other person.

Why does this keep happening?

Our minds are simply just wired this way. We have this Ego that is trained to keep us safe, to protect us from what it perceives to be threats and to scan the environment for the worst. On top of that, our modern society fuels the constant need to feel that we are not doing enough and that we need to be on a never-ending quest to find something better in our lives (especially by buying something).

Here’s a radical idea. What if we just stopped trying for a little while? What if we just lived our lives as they are, content with whatever lot was handed to us? Sure, maybe we only do this for a little while. Eventually, when we feel an inner nudge to improve our situation (because life is about evolution and growth), then we take action. Ideally we do this only when we feel deep down that making a change truly is the right thing to do, not because of a fear-based rationale, due to social conditioning, that we are never good enough.

This syndrome of believing that we are “not enough” leads us to an almost addictive pattern of always seeking more and of never being satisfied with what we have or with who we are. We want to make more money, to have more Instagram followers, to lose more weight, to eat better, to travel more or feel happier. The list goes on and on. Of course, being stagnant is not ideal for the human condition. Self-improvement is a wonderful aspiration, but not at the expense of accepting ourselves as the beautiful essence that that we truly are at the core.

If you’re often feeling like you are not enough and that you “need” constantly to be seeking for what’s around the corner, you might want to try some of these ideas:

Practice gratitude.

Give thanks every day – in the morning, in the middle of the day and in the evening for the wonderful things in your life. Write these gratitude thoughts down if you can (this brings them more into reality). When we acknowledge all of the blessings in our lives, even as simple as “I am grateful for having a warm bed to sleep in” or “I am grateful for the sun shining on my face,” we open our hearts. And paradoxically, this gratitude also raises our personal vibration. If you do have visions of a better life, the high-vibration future out there for you is more likely to waft into your current reality and begin to unfold.

Let go of the outcome.

This is something many of us are familiar with as relates to the law of attraction. It almost seems kind of silly, in a sense. But it is absolutely true, in my experience. You have an outcome you seek, but then try to let go of it, which is almost counter-intuitive. Write down a vision for the kind of life you long for, but then accept that it might not actually unfold. Because it might not. And we need to be okay with that, remembering that we are absolutely perfect, whole and complete as we are, as pure souls of light and love. (Here’s the thing though. Once you accept that your desired outcome might not come to pass, and I mean really accept that it might not happen, then it might just surprise you and eventually come to pass.) And then…

Come from a place of joy and plenty.

When we start to understand how the law of attraction (or law of vibration/resonance) works, and we see that the universe really operates on vibrations, we can see why our efforts to manifest our ideal lives often fall flat. This is because, in this case, we are operating from a vibration of lack. When we believe that we do not have everything we need, or that we are not enough as we are, then we simply cannot attract the vibration of plenty that we seek. The waves do not match. This is why the practice of gratitude is so important. Acknowledging the joy and blessings in our lives today, in this very moment, brings about more joy and blessings. Go outside and do cartwheels. Jump on a trampoline. Laugh. Find something that brings you joy to help raise your vibration. It’s really quite simple! (Easier said than done though, with that monkey mind!). And to take care of that…

Meditate. Every day.

This simply will help us to remember all of these things. Because we often forget about how important vibrations are. In our society of consumerism and capitalism, we live in a battlefield. We are fighting against forces that do not want us to feel perfect and whole. They want us to feel incomplete and lacking (even people in the personal development/spiritual world can do this). But when we re-train our brains to let go of the worries and self-defeating thoughts, we begin to see that our thoughts of not being enough are simply not who we truly are. They are constructs of our social conditioning and of the negative Ego built up over time. With a simple practice of quieting the mind, even just for five minutes every day, we begin to let go of these beliefs, just as we train our mind to release thoughts in the actual practice of meditation.

Go outside and play!

So go ahead now and have some fun. You deserve it. Life is not supposed to be this heavy and hard. It’s okay to relax and know that you will be okay. The universe will support you. Take a moment to reflect on the worst possible scenario that our Ego minds often present us with (running out of money / being rejected / failing). What’s the worst that could happen if one of these things does happen? Will you still survive? Probably, yes.

The alternative of worrying constantly every day about everything, on the other hand, could eventually kill us from stress over time. This is not acceptable to me, and don’t let it happen to you.

You are perfect as you are. Now go outside and play!

Also by Rachel Horton White:

About the author:

Aiming to merge the spiritual with the real world, Rachel Horton White helps people uncover their true selves in our worldwide shift in consciousness through intuitive coaching and teaching with Soulful Work Intuitive Consulting. Along with guidance sessions, Rachel offers live workshops, online courses, spiritual communities of support and meditation classes and a podcast, The Courageous Path. An angel enthusiast, tree-hugger, Akashic Records/Tarot reader, budding hypnotherapist and yogi, Rachel claims her true education came from studying abroad in Dakar, Senegal and teaching English in Guadalajara, Mexico. Her greatest teachers these days are her two bright-eyed, energetic children in Portland, Maine.

Rachel can be found on:


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