How Do You Know What Is Truly Aligned With You?

By Stacy Vajta

Guest writer for Wake Up World

There’s a shift in consciousness happening that’s moving people into their own energetic integrity; living life in alignment with their heart and spirit.

How we live, what we choose to do, the relationships we foster, and even the work we do are all being assessed these days for how aligned they are with our deepest truth; how they support us in moving forward in our own spiritual evolution and what we do right here, in our everyday lives.

The idea of alignment soothes the soul. Yet understanding what is in agreement with us – the right thing to choose – is often a sticking point for people. I see this all the time in my work. People know what they don’t want but have a whole lot of confusion around what is desirable… and even more so, what’s truly aligned.

How do you know what is truly aligned with you?

The other day, someone asked me why I thought a project I had started fell flat. And I shared how I realized I was doing things that lived up to some idea outside of me; a point of reference my dad held that I’d never accomplish what I really wanted to.

I had deferred my own knowledge about myself to his assessment for so long, it had become not only a belief of mine but a deeply woven external reference point that I had to extract myself from to change the belief and start making more aligned choices that did work for me. Although at the time, my initial choice felt aligned because I was so energetically enmeshed in the energy of this point of view. There it is though. When our choices are not aligned, the bottom line is with our own inability – at the time – to recognize, choose, and live our own truth because we are energetically enmeshed in something other. 

Energetic Reference Points.

I talk about energetic reference points in my work a lot. They’re those energetic stakes in the sand that we anchor to, that help us assess something or compare things to. These energetic reference points are like signposts, helping us to both understand, and relax into, how we move through the world.

Yet, when we’re working off an energetic reference point that’s external – stemming from outside of us and our truth – we’re actually working off of other people’s ideas, energies, and needs.

Our energetic sensors recognize what’s familiar to that referencing system. We’ll gravitate to what emotionally fits and feels aligned with that. We’ll use that external energy (AKA information) as a source of reference to help us make decisions and understand things. We’ll tie our energy to that and let it influence our choices.

And, in the process, we often forget our own internal point of reference, which helps align us with what we want and need: our true story.

Confusion.

When you get your most confused, it’s because you’re working off of this external energetic reference point. Deep down, you know something is off… but what? You know this energetic signpost so well. You may have even been working off of it your entire life.

Yet this nagging need for alignment is still there. This inner conflict begins to play out between the need to find alignment and the energetic information coming from outside of you, fueling your process. You get lost in how to understand yourself and what you need.

It can be challenging to let go of working off of someone else’s energetic point of view — be that your family, society or someone who impacts you in some way. To do so, you have to let go of what has “externally” helped you establish meaning, and now find your original energetic signpost within yourself. You have to own up to what is you and stand in the power of that. Anchoring back into you.

Shifting back into your own internal energetic referencing, like anything, begins with awareness. You must first recognize that you are using someone else’s energetic universe and ideas to fuel your own decisions.

Next comes reconnecting to your own passions and ideas. You must claim your own truth, despite the fears of falling short in someone’s eyes, disappointing someone, feeling ashamed for choosing you, or any other myriad of healing that needs to happen to transform what has kept you from feeling safe enough to choose you in the first place.

And then, you must do the work of growing into the person you must be, to live your truth through what you do.

This isn’t about cutting cords. It would be really easy to think that perhaps you could just cut an energetic cord to someone (or their ideas) if their energy was connected with you. But that’s way too simple of an idea. Sorry. I really hate to burst the bubble on that concept.

If you are working off of someone else’s energy – their energetic reference point and not your own – it’s because you, for some reason, have not yet had the ability to recognize and claim your own truth. You have unconsciously deferred your energy and your choice to someone, or something, else.

To find alignment, you must first come back to you. You must first know yourself and be able to use that as your gauge for what feels aligned with you. The signs. You’ll know alignment when you feel ease and grace, but more importantly, you’ll recognize alignment when you establish your own internal energetic referencing system that guides you into choices that deeply resonates with your truth.

If you aren’t owning your truth and working off your own energy – and using that as your reference for what is real and right – alignment will allude and confuse you.

I love the phrase, “If a door isn’t opening, it’s not your door.” If things aren’t working for you, then there’s something that’s still out of alignment; there’s still some energy that you are using as your own source of assessing what choice to make, that is not your truth. Don’t keep randomly trying new doors. Find the means to do the inner work to assess where you are working off of some external reference point.

Shift back into you; claim you. Then, you – and energetically only you – can begin to choose what is aligned from a place of clarity and energetic integrity.

Recommended articles by Stacy Vajta:

About the author:

Stacy Vajta is an energy coach and intuitive healer who loves nothing more than helping people love their (work) lives. She’s here for one big purpose: to help you figure out who you are meant to be and what you are meant to be doing.

You can find out more about her by visiting her website. You can also connect with her on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.


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