Guest Writer for Wake Up World
In my work as an Intuitive Life Coach, I am surrounded everyday by clients who are earnestly seeking and actively going after the life-change they desire, greater happiness, and actively seeking out a greater sense of purpose and peace from within their depths. As a seeker on an intuitive path of healing and growth, I am myself conscious of pushing past my own limits in the name of continued personal development and self-actualisation.
As human beings, growth and adapting to change are natural healthy indicators of our innate wisdom and life-ward force within. And although change is our main source of growth, many of us resist it.
The resistance I will discuss in this article is that which can occur when it feels like an individual, who we previously considered a reliable unchanging reference point in our lives, suddenly leaves us in the lurch. It is common for this to be our experience when that other person begins dreaming in a bigger way than before, wanting to spread their wings, exploring and expressing their true potential and seeking to meet their deepest most soul-level needs.
In this time of awakening, this situation is becoming far more common, and it is safe to say that it can arise right across the spectrum of different types of relationships. For example, it can occur in friendships, marriages or romantic partnerships, between employers and employees, colleagues, teachers and students, between parent and child and between siblings as well. Sometimes we just move in different directions.
Resistance or Inspiration?
The ruffling of feathers that can occur in response to the other person’s deep need to become more self-actualised, can spark within us a feeling of resistance – which in fact, is really an alternate form of fear. We can find ourselves experiencing this kind of resistance for several different reasons.
When an individual we unconsciously assumed was a constant in our life begins to noticeably evolve, heal, grow and change, it can feel like we are losing our footing as our anchor of security and/or stability (literally and energetically) begins slipping away. Our response if we feel we are losing hold of our metaphorical anchor is naturally one of fear and resistance. Additionally, when this happens, we often simultaneously perceive a need for greater self-reliance which can also prompt us to doubt ourselves, question and resist the unknown, and feel fear and uncertainty within ourselves.
From this perspective, fear and resistance are two sides of the same coin. We fear and resist the inner and outer changes that we sense are in motion for that individual and how they will impact us and we fear and resist the inner and outer impulses and consciousness within ourselves that occur.
What is particularly interesting is that, when someone close to us embarks upon a process of intense transformation and inner growth, it can also have an effect that is directly opposite to resistance and fear. At certain points in our lives, we can actually find ourselves being inspired to grow with and alongside the momentum of another individual’s growth and change.
So if there is a person who has been a constant in your life, who you sense is beginning to spread their wings and looking in the direction of new adventure, bigger more exciting experiences, more alignment with their own needs, and overall life-change, it can be immensely valuable to recognise what this awareness is highlighting for you, and within you. By accepting and recognizing this experience, you can consciously benefit and grow from it too.
If you find yourself going into a response of resistance and fear, realise that this is potentially an expression of your level of confidence in your own intuition and your ability to consciously engage life. The very nature of life IS change. Consider, too, that the resistance and fear you feel might actually be indicating a necessary, mutually beneficial point of departure from your relationship with the individual who has triggered these feelings for you.
Conversely, if you find yourself feeling inspired and free to go after new learning experiences, and grow alongside others in your life, your intuitive senses and engagement of life can become sharpened and honed as you evolve, learn and grow.
Opportunity for Meaningful Change
If you consciously notice yourself slipping into resistance/fear, realise that you are also in the best possible position to explore precisely why. Therein lies the potential for self discovery and meaningful change; the opportunity to free yourself from any limiting beliefs you carry about your fullest potential and who you really are.
It is also worth remembering that your spiritual purpose and path has its own unique timing and pace. Generally our resistance and fear, rather than being a surface emotion, is actually an indicator of a much deeper rooted energy/held belief/emotive mechanism at work in our body/mind space. If this is the case for you, is it important to be gentle and patient with yourself. Be aware that healing and resolution are unique to each of us, just as our experiences are unique, and therefore cannot be designated a time frame. As long as you are facing your emotions honestly and openly, allow yourself to do or be whatever comes naturally for you at the time.
Your awareness of yourself at this time is most important. Without it, we can inadvertently resent and/or punish the other person for initiating change for you, but in punishing the other person for exploring their fullest potential and “forcing” change on you, you wind up punishing yourself, and holding yourself back from being able to have and enjoy a similar opportunity for growth and change.
As the saying goes, holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
The more self-awareness you possess, the easier it becomes for you to gracefully release and bless the other person and accept the unexpected opportunity for self-examination and personal change. By allowing others in your life to experience their unique process of self-actualisation, you will gain a deeper understanding that you are ultimately responsible for your happiness as you more consciously begin to embrace your own.
Previous articles by Caroline:
- The Effect of External Energies in Your Space
- Overcoming Envy and Competition
- What Story Do YOU Tell?
- Creative Day-Dreaming: Your Connection to Life’s Creative Flow
- The Journey vs. The Dream
- Why Tomorrow Never Comes
- Is Fear Holding You Back From Getting What You Really Need?
- Are You Waiting for Inspiration? Or Intuition?
- Step Into Your Brilliance
About the author:
Caroline is an Intuitive Life Coach and Intuitive Skills Teacher. She is also the creator and facilitator of Everyday Alchemy: Intuition at Work and Play, a system of intuitive self-healing programs, thoughtfully designed to help you heal the areas in which you feel disconnected, unseen or in pain, in order that you can reveal your essential energetic, intuitive and creative nature, and effect positive, meaningful life change.
You can experience Caroline’s work directly by joining the Everyday Alchemy Personal Empowerment Community, a platform created to give you greater self-understanding and alignment with your inner knowing, highest vision for yourself and deepest soul-level needs. In this confidential and sacred space you are invited via online teleconference each month not only to show up as your most authentic self, but to participate in powerful combinations of transformative group discussion, journaling exercises, guided meditations, intuitive coaching and energy-based self-healing techniques.
Follow Caroline on Facebook at Facebook.com/thealchemistwithin