A Word About Grief

A Word About Grief

By Carmen Allgood

Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

Very few who come to this world will escape feelings of loss and sorrow. All human emotions are firmly embedded in our DNA and are part and parcel of being human.

There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Not many of us will simply be able to put a time-limit on grieving, nor should we be expected to. However, when grieving becomes a life-long chronic experience, the person who continues to suffer needs help.

Each of us will express grief differently, and those closest to persons who are suffering from loss in their lives might want to keep an open mind by not falsely interpreting a seeming lack of emotion as ‘uncaring’. Or view them as a person who is ‘just fine’. Still waters run very deep.

Social media is full of love – and full of agonizing moments of personal loss. We share experiences of losing our parents; our spouses and partners who leave through death or divorce. The loss of family pets is devastating. And the idea of losing a child makes most parents shudder and wonder how they could possibly survive the blow.

The world mourns together when those we all recognize and love have taken a final bow. And we cling to shining ideals and inspiration that famous individuals have imparted on us through our stretch here on earth.

Stages of Grieving

Denial and Isolation allow pain to creep in slowly instead of flooding our being. Sudden death of a loved one is a major shock to the system because there was no preparation time to brace ourselves. This will not last.

Anger is generally the next step when the denial and isolation fail to alleviate the pain. Anger is an attempt to make someone, including ourselves, feel guilty. This will not last.

Bargaining and Guilt is a typical response of feeling that we did not do enough to keep our loved one from leaving. We start bargaining to allay feelings of helplessness and vulnerability, and then accept blame and feelings of guilt for not doing enough to prevent the inevitable or unavoidable from happening. This, too, will not last.

Depression is right behind guilt. In fact, they are holding hands. Letting
ourselves go emotionally can lead to our own physical illness, made manifest by deep-seated feelings of lack of love of self. This will be healed and will not last.

Acceptance of the departure of people and animals that we love is never going to be an easy road. The journey may take some time and serious soul-searching to get to a place which does not keep us locked in ‘Stage One’ of denial and isolation. Have faith – this will not last.

How to Release, Let Go, and Heal

Grief is another word for grieving, anger, mad, madness. The concept of losing love when viewed through forgiving eyes, which are opened through gratitude, becomes impossible. There is no separation in love, and death is for the physical body only.

Ways to work through grief include sharing thoughts and feelings with others in support groups. We are not alone!

Get up and move! Exercise and healthy life-style choices will help us heal.

Talk to family and friends and never believe you are a burden. How many people have you helped in your life? Learn to accept love and care without feeling guilty.

How Grief Works

Forgiveness and Gratitude

Forgive those who have died or moved on. Forgive pets that grew old and crossed over Rainbow Bridge. Forgive yourself for the guilt you feel by falsely believing you could have saved them from casting off or moving on without you in their life.

Complete forgiveness literally erases all unloving thoughts. When only loving thoughts remain, eternal love, which never dies, is happily remembered. This is the Sacred Center from which all life and all love radiates. It is yours.

Express gratitude every single day for everything that comes to you in life. Make your gratitude list longer than your grievances list until only the gratitude remains. Here is your happiness.

And remember those you love and miss with fondness. Share shining moments of their lives with other people. And laugh about the funny things that happened along the way.

Right now – think of something your loved one once said that made you laugh so hard. Say it out loud.

Remember the funny antics of your dog or cat – their primary purpose in your life was to make you happy. Did they succeed?

Take these sweet dreams to bed with you at night and be grateful that you experienced the essence of these lovely beings in your life.

Happy thoughts are healing thoughts …

Love is the Answer.

Bob Marley & The Wailers – Exodus LP (Remastered)

Enjoy the entire Exodus LP by Bob Marley and The Wailers, released 1977, and named “Best Album of the last century” by Time Magazine.

 

Previous articles by Carmen:

About the author:

Color Me Carmen

Carmen Allgood is the author of the beginner’s guide to inner peace, Beyond Diapers – How Not to Wallow in Your Own Poop. Carmen offers readers a modern day exploration of spiritual evolution, with a timely twist of pop-psychology for the masses who are starved for lasting peace of mind and true happiness.

Through her work, Carmen unveils the mysteries of love, reveals the means to heal the mind and thus the body, and the simple steps available to all of us to live in constant joy. She also produces syndicated independent music radio shows on WorldWideWavez.com, which has featured over 20,000 independent recording artists from around the world. Connect with Carmen at theColoradoWave.com

This article © Carmen Allgood.

How to Not Wallow In Your Own Poop

Carmen Allgood - How Not to Wallow in Your Own PoopBased on a lifelong study of the energy of Love, Beyond Diapers: How to Not Wallow In Your Own Poop is a modern day exploration of our spiritual evolution, delivering a timely twist of pop psychology to a world starved for peace of mind and true happiness.

In this humorous and insightful ‘beginners guide’ to inner peace, Carmen reveals the surefire solution to healing ourselves and the world in a cut-to-the-chase simplicity designed to make you laugh your way from forgiveness to love.

Beyond Diapers: How to Not Wallow in Your Own Poop is available now on Amazon.

 


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  • Mary

    Thank you!